Through difficult times when physical desires were out of sync, the Greens learned that physical intimacy is more about serving each other than meeting their own needs.
Robert and Linda Green • Apr 10, 2019
Bobby and Shari JohnsNov 8, 2023 • Dallas |
Monte and Marsha DunnNov 1, 2023 • Dallas |
Julie and Mark NicholsonOct 25, 2023 • Dallas |
Jerry and LoriOct 18, 2023 • Dallas |
Steve and Amie BradleyOct 11, 2023 • Dallas |
Marcus and Carol BrownSep 20, 2023 • Dallas |
Nancy and Mark RovenstineSep 6, 2023 • Dallas |
Kyle and Lucina ThompsonAug 23, 2023 • Dallas |
David and CaitAug 9, 2023 • Dallas |
Mandy and Leonard BagdanovAug 2, 2023 • Dallas |
Michelle and Nate BallJul 26, 2023 • Dallas |
Nate and Megan MickishJul 19, 2023 • Dallas |
Wes and Angie TalleyJul 5, 2023 • Dallas |
Jen and Alex LeskoJun 21, 2023 • Dallas |
Alissa and Shane MauldinJun 14, 2023 • Dallas |
Daniel and Cynthia CostaJun 7, 2023 • Dallas |
Sheri and Brett JohnstonMay 31, 2023 • Dallas |
Robert and Linda GreenMay 24, 2023 • Dallas |
John and Jeanie CoxMay 17, 2023 • Dallas |
Wade and Betsy NowlinMay 10, 2023 • Dallas |
David and Tara JensenMay 3, 2023 • Dallas |
Jim and Judy WimberleyJim & Judy Wimberley • Apr 12, 2023 • Dallas |
Jimmy and Michelle ComeauxApr 5, 2023 • Dallas |
Kevin and Kelli MainzMar 29, 2023 |
David and Manuela AcostaRe|Engage • Mar 26, 2023 |
Rob and Haley ThomasMar 22, 2023 • Dallas |
Robbie and Teri VedrenneMar 15, 2023 • Dallas |
Rick and Michelle HowardMar 1, 2023 • Dallas |
Matt and Jenn FarlowFeb 22, 2023 • Dallas |
David and Lauren KinneyJan 25, 2023 • Dallas |
Jared and Leigh Anne SullivanJared & Leigh Anne Sullivan • Jan 11, 2023 • Dallas |
Markus and Mary Kay JabekJan 4, 2023 • Dallas |
Neil and Jody CurranDec 7, 2022 • Dallas |
Scot and Michelle BuchananNov 30, 2022 • Dallas |
David and CaitNov 16, 2022 • Dallas |
Wes and Angie TalleyNov 9, 2022 • Dallas |
Tobin and Christina MillerOct 26, 2022 • Dallas |
Michael and Melinda ParisiMichael Parisi, Melinda Parisi • Oct 12, 2022 • Dallas |
David and Denise RenkenSep 28, 2022 • Dallas |
Bobby and Shari JohnsSep 14, 2022 • Dallas |
John and Debbie WingfieldSep 7, 2022 • Dallas |
Mark and Nancy RovenstineAug 31, 2022 • Dallas |
Todd and Julie AndersTodd Anders • Aug 24, 2022 • Dallas |
LaDale and Cynthia BuggsAug 3, 2022 • Dallas |
Chris and Katie SherrodJul 27, 2022 • Dallas |
Kyle and Lucina ThompsonKyle & Lucinda Thompson • Jul 20, 2022 • Dallas |
Simon and Katrina SaugierJul 13, 2022 • Dallas |
Willie and Gigi HornbergerJul 6, 2022 • Dallas |
Mark and Julie NicholsonJun 22, 2022 • Dallas |
Nate and Michelle BallJun 15, 2022 • Dallas |
Robbie and Teri VedrenneMay 25, 2022 • Dallas |
Paul and Kelly RutherfordMay 18, 2022 • Dallas |
David and Tara JensenMay 11, 2022 • Dallas |
John and Jeanie CoxMay 4, 2022 • Dallas |
Steve and Amie BradleyApr 27, 2022 • Dallas |
Chris and Michelle DishmanApr 20, 2022 • Dallas |
Kevin and Kelly MainzApr 13, 2022 • Dallas |
Jim and Judy WimberleyJim & Judy Wimberley • Apr 6, 2022 • Dallas |
Dean and Tawney MacfarlanMar 30, 2022 • Dallas |
Rob and Haley ThomasRob and Haley Thomas • Mar 23, 2022 • Dallas |
Shane and Alissa MauldinMar 16, 2022 • Dallas |
David and Lauren KinneyMar 9, 2022 • Dallas |
Markus and Mary Kay JabekMar 2, 2022 • Dallas |
Martha and Ivan IllarramendiFeb 16, 2022 • Dallas |
Ryan and Callie NixonRyan & Callie Nixon • Feb 9, 2022 • Dallas |
Alex and Jen LeskoJan 19, 2022 • Dallas |
Jared and Leigh Anne SullivanJan 12, 2022 • Dallas |
Selena and Michael ThompsonJan 5, 2022 • Dallas |
Russ and Karen FleigDec 15, 2021 • Dallas |
Phil and Beth BrinkmeyerDec 8, 2021 • Dallas |
Leonard and Mandy BagdanovDec 1, 2021 • Dallas |
Glenn and Desiree NewblomNov 17, 2021 • Dallas |
Michael and Melinda ParisiNov 10, 2021 • Dallas |
Bobby and Shari JohnsNov 3, 2021 • Dallas |
Brett and Jan BrusterOct 20, 2021 • Dallas |
Wes and Angie TalleyOct 13, 2021 • Dallas |
Mac and Sophie MacfarlanOct 6, 2021 • Dallas |
John and Debbie WingfieldSep 29, 2021 |
Brett and Chrisey BillmanSep 15, 2021 • Dallas |
Nate and Michelle BallSep 8, 2021 |
Mark and Nancy RovenstineAug 25, 2021 • Dallas |
Divorce PanelJun 23, 2021 |
Trey and Shera O'NealJun 16, 2021 • Dallas |
LaDale and Cynthia BuggsJun 9, 2021 • Dallas |
Shane and Alissa MauldinJun 2, 2021 • Dallas |
David and Tara JensenMay 26, 2021 • Dallas |
Jared and Leigh Anne SullivanMay 19, 2021 • Dallas |
Jim and Judy WimberleyJim & Judy Wimberley • Apr 28, 2021 |
Ivan and Martha IllarramendiApr 28, 2021 • Dallas |
Billy and Amanda PorcheApr 21, 2021 • Dallas |
Steve and Amie BradleyApr 14, 2021 • Dallas |
Griffin and Kami StroopeApr 7, 2021 • Dallas |
David and Lauren KinneyMar 31, 2021 • Dallas |
Rick and Michelle HowardMar 24, 2021 • Dallas |
Glenn and Desiree NewblomMar 17, 2021 • Dallas |
Markus and Mary Kay JabekMar 3, 2021 • Dallas |
David and Tara JensenFeb 24, 2021 • Dallas |
Brett and Jan BrusterJan 20, 2021 • Dallas |
Bobby and Shari JohnsJan 13, 2021 • Dallas |
Ryan and Callie NixonAug 28, 2020 |
Steve and Amie BradleyJun 2, 2020 |
Testimony- Brian and Morgan BuchekMar 4, 2020 • Dallas |
Testimony - David & Tara JensenMar 2, 2020 • Plano |
Blended Family PanelFeb 26, 2020 • Dallas |
Testimony - Greg & Jennifer SutherlandFeb 24, 2020 • Plano |
Testimony - Jacob & April NeelyFeb 17, 2020 • Plano |
Troy and Julia BussmeirFeb 7, 2020 |
Nick and Rachel KleinFeb 7, 2020 |
Mike and Shelly AhlemeierFeb 7, 2020 |
Matt and Andrea WalkerFeb 7, 2020 |
Luis and Kaylee CaceresFeb 7, 2020 |
Graham and Stacey RobbinsFeb 7, 2020 |
Andy and Jenny MarshFeb 7, 2020 |
Jared and Leigh Anne SullivanFeb 5, 2020 • Dallas |
Griffin and Kami Stroope TestimonyJan 22, 2020 |
TestimonyJan 8, 2020 |
Divorce PanelBrett Bruster, Bobby Johns, Alissa Mauldin • Nov 20, 2019 |
TestimonyLaDale & Cynthia Buggs • Nov 13, 2019 |
TestimonyNov 6, 2019 |
Testimony- Glenn and Desiree NewblomOct 23, 2019 |
Michael and Selena ThompsonOct 21, 2019 |
Testimony- Greg and Emily GoodinOct 16, 2019 |
Re|Engage Large Group TestimonySep 18, 2019 |
Re|Engage Large Group TestimonySep 11, 2019 |
Brandon and Brittani TravelsteadSep 7, 2019 |
Re|Engage Large Group TestimonyShane & Alissa Mauldin • Aug 28, 2019 |
Re|Engage Large Group TestimonyRyan & Callie Nixon, John & Pam McGee • Aug 21, 2019 |
Re|Engage Large Group TestimonyDru & Amanda Guillot • Aug 14, 2019 • Plano |
Martin and Lenore GaoJul 24, 2019 • Dallas |
Testimony - Shera and Trey O’NealJul 10, 2019 • Dallas |
John and Debbie WingfieldJun 12, 2019 |
Alex and Jen LeskoJun 12, 2019 |
Tim and Kalyn GeregJun 5, 2019 |
Jimmy and Michelle ComeauxMay 29, 2019 |
Raeul and Susan CoxMay 15, 2019 |
Jason and Mandy CastroMay 15, 2019 |
David and Robin HowardMay 15, 2019 |
Ivan and Martha IllarramendiMay 1, 2019 |
Robert and Linda GreenRobert and Linda Green • Apr 10, 2019 |
LaDale and Cynthia BuggsApr 10, 2019 |
Markus and Mary Kay JabekApr 3, 2019 |
Billy and Amanda PorcheMar 27, 2019 |
Brett and Jan BrusterBrett & Jan Bruster • Mar 13, 2019 |
Greg and Emily GoodinMar 6, 2019 |
Charles and Karen BundrenCharles & Karen Bundren • Feb 6, 2019 |
TestimonyNate & Michelle Ball • Jan 30, 2019 |
Testimony - Jared and Leigh Anne SullivanJared & Leigh Anne Sullivan • Jan 23, 2019 |
Bobby and Shari JohnsBobby & Shari Johns • Jan 9, 2019 |
Testimony - LaDale and Cynthia BuggsLaDale & Cynthia Buggs • Dec 5, 2018 |
Re|Engage Spanish Night Testimony - Manuel & Elvia LemusNov 14, 2018 |
Re|Engage Spanish Night Testimony - Ivan & Martha IllarramendiIvan & Martha Illarramendi • Nov 14, 2018 |
Ivan and Martha IllarramendiIvan & Martha Illarramendi • Nov 14, 2018 |
Testimony - Alex and Jen LeskoNov 7, 2018 |
Testimony - Raeul and Susan CoxRaeul & Susan Cox • Oct 31, 2018 |
Simon and Katrina SaugierKatrina Saugier, Simon Saugier • Oct 10, 2018 |
David and Denise RenkenDavid & Denise Renken • Sep 10, 2018 • Plano |
Testimony - Robert & Linda GreenRobert and Linda Green • Sep 5, 2018 |
Testimony - Martin and Lenore GaoAug 29, 2018 |
Shane and Alissa MauldinAug 22, 2018 |
Testimony - Markus and Mary Kay JabekAug 15, 2018 |
Testimony - Charles and Karen BundrenCharles Bundren, Karen Bundren, Charles & Karen Bundren • Aug 1, 2018 |
Testimony - Bobby & Shari JohnsBobby & Shari Johns • Jul 18, 2018 |
Testimony - Ivan & MarthaIvan & Martha Illarramendi • Jun 27, 2018 |
Testimony - Tim & Kalyn GeregJun 20, 2018 |
Greg & Tonya GilmerGreg & Tonya Gilmer • May 30, 2018 |
Testimony - Ryan & Callie NixonRyan & Callie Nixon • May 23, 2018 |
Paul and Kelly RutherfordPaul & Kelly Rutherford • May 9, 2018 |
Nate and Michelle BallNate & Michelle Ball • May 2, 2018 |
Kevin and Kelli MainzKevin & Kelly Mainz • Apr 18, 2018 |
Testimony - Greg and Emily GoodinGreg Goodin, Emily Goodin • Mar 28, 2018 |
Testimony - John and Debbie WingfieldJohn Wingfield, Debbie Wingfield • Mar 14, 2018 |
Testimony - Shane & Alissa MauldinShane & Alissa Mauldin • Feb 28, 2018 |
Brett and Chrisey BillmanBrett & Chrisey Billman • Feb 21, 2018 |
Todd and Alex WagnerTodd & Alex Wagner • Feb 7, 2018 |
Teaching - CommunityScott Coy • Jan 24, 2018 |
Teaching- CompletionJohn & Pam McGee • Dec 6, 2017 |
Testimony - Markus & Mary Kay JabekMarkus & Mary Kay Jabek • Nov 29, 2017 |
Testimony - Dave & Denise RenkenDave & Denise Renken • Nov 15, 2017 |
Robert and Liz WhiteRobert & Liz White • Nov 8, 2017 |
Testimony- John and Pam McGeeJohn & Pam McGee • Nov 1, 2017 |
Testimony- Charles and Karen BundrenCharles & Karen Bundren • Oct 25, 2017 |
Testimony - John & Debbie WingfieldJohn & Debbie Wingfield • Oct 18, 2017 |
Testimony - Greg & Tonya GilmerGreg & Tonya Gilmer • Oct 11, 2017 |
Testimony - Ryan & Callie NixonRyan & Callie Nixon • Sep 20, 2017 |
Kyle and Lucina ThompsonKyle & Lucinda Thompson • Sep 13, 2017 |
Testimony - Jared & Leigh Anne SullivanJared & Leigh Anne Sullivan • Aug 30, 2017 |
Testimony - Bobby & Shari JohnsBobby & Shari Johns • Aug 23, 2017 |
John Paul and RenaAug 16, 2017 |
Testimony - Paul & Kelly RutherfordPaul and Kelly Rutherford • Jul 26, 2017 |
Trey and Shera O'NealTrey O'Neal , Shera O'Neal • Jul 19, 2017 |
Testimony - Kevin & Kelli MainzKelli Mainz, Kevin Mainz • Jul 12, 2017 |
Erick and Gina FrankJun 28, 2017 |
Martin & Lenore Gao TestimonyMay 31, 2017 |
Tyler and Jenny O'NealMay 24, 2017 |
Mark and Kathy ThomasMay 17, 2017 |
Peter and EleanorMay 10, 2017 |
Testimony - Shane & Alissa MauldinMay 3, 2017 |
Eric and Catherine CouchEric Couch, Catherine Couch • Apr 19, 2017 |
Bill and Ann DalyMar 29, 2017 |
Testimony - LaDale & Cynthia BuggsMar 22, 2017 |
Testimony - Nate & Michelle BallNate Ball, Michelle Ball • Mar 15, 2017 |
Michael and Stefanie SantiagoMar 6, 2017 |
Steve and Natalie HammRe|Engage • Feb 20, 2017 |
Testimony - Brett & Chrisey BillmanBrett Billman, Chrisey Billman • Feb 15, 2017 |
Chris and Charece RobbinsFeb 8, 2017 |
Testimony - Charles & Karen BundrenFeb 1, 2017 |
Klein and Holly SwannieJan 18, 2017 |
Dean and Tawney MacfarlanJan 11, 2017 |
Mark and Nancy RovenstineDec 21, 2016 |
Testimony - Kevin and Kelli MainzNov 30, 2016 |
Testimony - Robert & Liz WhiteLiz White, Robert White • Nov 9, 2016 |
Testimony - John & Debbie WingfieldOct 26, 2016 |
Testimony - Mark & Kathy ThomasOct 12, 2016 |
Testimony - Bobby and Shari JohnsOct 5, 2016 |
Testimony - Simon & Katrina SaugierSimon Saugier, Katrina Saugier • Sep 28, 2016 |
Testimony - Shane & Alissa MauldinShane Mauldin, Alissa Mauldin • Sep 21, 2016 |
Teaching - The Importance of Fun in MarriageJohn & Pam McGee • Sep 14, 2016 |
TestimonyPaul and Kelly Rutherford • Aug 24, 2016 |
Teaching - Sexual IntimacyRobert and Linda Green • Aug 17, 2016 |
Rick and Michele HowardRe|Engage • Aug 10, 2016 |
Scott and Laura DeBowRe|Engage • Jul 27, 2016 |
Zech and Kim LumpkinRe|Engage • Jul 20, 2016 |
Tyler and Jenny O'Neal TestimonyRe|Engage • Jul 13, 2016 |
Scott and Kristen KedershaRe|Engage • Jun 22, 2016 |
Bill and Ann DalyRe|Engage • Jun 15, 2016 |
Bobby and Shari JohnsRe|Engage • Jun 8, 2016 |
Newly and Karen SpikesJun 2, 2016 |
Jon and Kathy FlamingRe|Engage • May 11, 2016 |
Brett and Jan BrusterRe|Engage • Apr 27, 2016 |
Reid and Jenny GriffinRe|Engage • Apr 20, 2016 |
Kyle and Lucina ThompsonRe|Engage • Apr 13, 2016 |
Chris and Charece RobbinsRe|Engage • Mar 23, 2016 |
Brett and Chrisey BillmanRe|Engage • Mar 9, 2016 |
Dee and Roddy ElliottRe|Engage • Mar 2, 2016 |
Derek and Stacy BrazielRe|Engage • Feb 17, 2016 |
Greg and Tonya GilmerRe|Engage • Feb 3, 2016 |
Adam and Brooke FishRe|Engage • Jan 27, 2016 |
Shane and Alissa MauldinRe|Engage • Jan 13, 2016 |
Everett and Emily AlexanderRe|Engage • Jan 6, 2016 |
Mark and Kathy ThomasRe|Engage • Dec 16, 2015 |
Divorce PanelRe|Engage • Dec 9, 2015 |
Matt and Amy LevyRe|Engage • Nov 18, 2015 |
Robert and Liz WhiteRe|Engage • Nov 4, 2015 |
Bryce and Elizabeth EricksonRe|Engage • Oct 21, 2015 |
Greg and Tonya GilmerRe|Engage • Oct 7, 2015 |
Chris and Charece RobbinsRe|Engage • Sep 30, 2015 |
Dru and Amanda GuillotRe|Engage • Sep 23, 2015 |
Dee and Roddy ElliottRe|Engage • Sep 16, 2015 |
Warren and Angie WrightRe|Engage • Sep 9, 2015 |
Derek and Stacy BrazielRe|Engage • Sep 2, 2015 |
Chris and Dana AdamsonRe|Engage • Jul 10, 2015 |
Jeremy and Mindi PattyRe|Engage • Jul 8, 2015 |
Bobby and Shari JohnsRe|Engage • Jun 17, 2015 |
Jim and Judy WimberleyRe|Engage • Jun 3, 2015 |
Kevin and Kelli MainzRe|Engage • May 20, 2015 |
Brett and Chrisey BillmanRe|Engage • May 11, 2015 |
Jason and Mandy CastroRe|Engage • May 6, 2015 |
Kyle and Lucina ThompsonRe|Engage • Apr 29, 2015 |
Reid and Jenny GriffinRe|Engage • Apr 22, 2015 |
Greg and Tonya GilmerRe|Engage • Apr 1, 2015 |
Raeul and Susan CoxRe|Engage • Mar 18, 2015 |
Dee and Roddy ElliottRe|Engage • Feb 25, 2015 |
John and Meredith HallRe|Engage • Feb 18, 2015 |
Ryan and Callie NixonRe|Engage • Feb 11, 2015 |
Adam and Brooke FishRe|Engage • Jan 28, 2015 |
Shane and Alissa MauldinRe|Engage • Jan 14, 2015 |
Bobby and Shari JohnsRe|Engage • Dec 3, 2014 |
Bobby and Shari JohnsRe|Engage • Dec 3, 2014 |
Greg and Tonya GilmerGreg Gilmer, Re|Engage, Tanya Gilmer • Nov 19, 2014 |
Robert and Liz WhiteRe|Engage • Nov 12, 2014 |
A.C. and Debi NdindjockRe|Engage • Nov 5, 2014 |
Mark and Nancy RovenstineRe|Engage • Oct 22, 2014 |
Reid and Jenny GriffinRe|Engage • Oct 15, 2014 |
Bryce and Elizabeth EricksonRe|Engage • Oct 13, 2014 |
Bill and Kathryn BuntynRe|Engage • Oct 1, 2014 |
Nate and Teresa GraybillRe|Engage • Sep 24, 2014 |
Robert and Lou Ann McMillenRe|Engage • Sep 17, 2014 |
Dee and Roddy ElliottRe|Engage • Sep 17, 2014 |
Kirk and Cathy McJunkinRe|Engage • Aug 27, 2014 |
Adam and Jackie Tarnow - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Aug 13, 2014 |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jul 30, 2014 |
Joey and Christian Rider - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jul 2, 2014 |
Jason and Mandy Castro - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jun 25, 2014 |
Jeff and Martha Sharrock - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jun 18, 2014 |
Scott and Kristen Kedersha - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jun 11, 2014 |
Zech and Kim Lumpkin - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jun 4, 2014 |
Chris and Charece Robbins - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • May 7, 2014 |
Robert and Linda GreenRe|Engage • Apr 30, 2014 |
Everett and Emily Alexander - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Apr 23, 2014 |
Bobby and Shari Johns - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Apr 16, 2014 |
Neal and Ann Holford - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Apr 9, 2014 |
Les and Desi Brown - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Mar 26, 2014 |
Simon and Katrina Saugier - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jan 22, 2014 |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jan 15, 2014 |
Chris and Dana Adamson - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jan 8, 2014 |
Rick and Michele Howard - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Dec 18, 2013 |
Divorce Panel - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Dec 11, 2013 |
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Nov 20, 2013 |
Dee and Roddy Elliott - re|engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Nov 13, 2013 |
Mike and Laura LabunskiRe|Engage • Nov 6, 2013 |
Robert and Liz White - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Oct 30, 2013 |
Eddy and Rachel Badrina - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Oct 23, 2013 |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Oct 16, 2013 |
David and Denise Renken - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Oct 9, 2013 |
Reid and Jenny Griffin - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Sep 25, 2013 |
A.C. and Debi Ndindjock - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Sep 18, 2013 |
Joey and Christian Rider - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Sep 11, 2013 |
Scott and Kristen KedershaRe|Engage • Aug 7, 2013 |
Jeff and Martha SharrockRe|Engage • Jul 31, 2013 |
Neal and Ann Holford - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • May 29, 2013 |
Wes and Brandy Butler - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Apr 3, 2013 |
Andy and Jennifer Bailey - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Mar 27, 2013 |
Lance and Mandy Sisco - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jan 16, 2013 |
Leonard and Mandy Bagdanov - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Dec 19, 2012 |
Blake and Rebecca Holmes - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Oct 10, 2012 |
Chris and Dana - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Aug 8, 2012 |
Catherine and Tom - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Apr 25, 2012 |
Angie and Warren Wright - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Mar 28, 2012 |
Teri and Robbie Vedrenne - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Mar 21, 2012 |
Tawney and Dean Macfarlan - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Mar 14, 2012 |
Brooke and Adam Fish - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Feb 29, 2012 |
Judy and Jim Wimberly - Re|Engage TestiomonyRe|Engage • Feb 22, 2012 |
Kim and Zech Lumpkin - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Feb 8, 2012 |
Mary and Ted Randall - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jan 11, 2012 |
Susan and Raeul - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Dec 21, 2011 |
Katie and Brandon Lokey - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Dec 14, 2011 |
Mindi and Jeremy - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Nov 30, 2011 |
Lisbeth and Hil Bowman - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Oct 19, 2011 |
Meredith and John Hall - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Sep 28, 2011 |
Tanna and Rick - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Sep 14, 2011 |
Cathy and Kirk McJunkin - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Aug 24, 2011 |
Crystal and Anthony Obey - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jul 27, 2011 |
Rachel and EddyRe|Engage • Jun 29, 2011 |
Lucina and Kyle Thompson - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jun 22, 2011 |
Adam and Aleks Stewart - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jun 15, 2011 |
Linda and John Berry - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • May 25, 2011 |
Lora and Jeff Strese - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • May 11, 2011 |
Julie and Todd Anders - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Apr 27, 2011 |
Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Apr 20, 2011 |
Jackie and Adam Tarnow - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Mar 23, 2011 |
Ann and Matt Piper - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Feb 16, 2011 |
Cindy and Mike Homsher - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Nov 3, 2010 |
Julie and Scott Sedberry - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Oct 13, 2010 |
Rebecca and Chip Dickens - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Aug 25, 2010 |
Missy and David Leventhal - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Aug 18, 2010 |
Carrie and Troy Patterson - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Jun 30, 2010 |
Sheri and Brett Johnston - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • May 19, 2010 |
Tanna and Rick Wisner - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • May 12, 2010 |
Anna and Kavon Moradi - Re|Engage TestimonyRe|Engage • Mar 24, 2010 |
Robert Hello! my name is Robert Green and this is my lovely wife of 35 years Linda Sue. We are empty nesters of 2 boys. In this picture we just finished flying a couple of Harris hawks outside a castle in Ireland. They were on a year-long backpacking trip to 30 countries and we joined them in Ireland for a week. It was awesome!
Linda We got married on St. Patrick’s Day in 1984.
One of my favorite things about getting married on St Patrick's Day is that I changed my last name to Green!
Robert I'm sure you are wondering who's the guy she married.
As George Costanza once said…these are the remnants of a once proud civilization
I'm smiling big in that pic. Why? Because like any guy, I know the honeymoon is coming. But the start of my married sex life would immediately hit a speed bump.
Linda We got to Maui and headed to the pool. I put oil on like I had always done, but evidently the sun is different in Maui because what normally would have been a tan turned into a major sunburn.
Robert She kinda looked like this. I had to rub aloe vera on her but yet I could not touch her if you know what I mean. After her fever broke we had a great time!
Our only claims to fame is that I'm a graduate of the Fightin' Texas Aggie Class of 1982, and for 4 years Linda held the career record for free throw percentage at the University of Louisiana in Monroe. Yes, Linda is a minor celebrity.
It's our privilege to work with a lot of couples in marriage ministry at Watermark, and we are seeing more and more couples who struggle sexually. We know this can be an area of significant pain and please know that you CAN find healing. Tonight, for the first part of our talk, we want to talk about one very specific scenario: where one spouse has a higher sex drive than the other.
Linda We'd like to start by sharing our own story in this area, then share with you some things that helped us.
I grew up in a Christian home and came to a saving faith in Jesus when I was 9. My parents modeled love and affection toward each other and taught me that sex was “God's gift and His design for couples to enjoy in marriage”. I never got the “sex talk” but in their defense, they felt I probably learned all I needed when I walked in on them at age 6.
I belonged to Jesus, but I had a rebellious heart and spent the first 22 years of my life pursuing the things of this world - especially in my college years where my poor choices led to inappropriate relationships, heartache, guilt and shame.
But God, in His mercy pursued me through it all and turned my rebellious heart back to Him. He put a new desire in my heart – to walk in His ways. God has declared me blameless because Christ's shed blood on the cross has covered my sins. Although I battled thoughts of guilt and shame over the years, I was able to fight that battle with truth - that I am forgiven and a precious daughter of the King who delights in me and loves me with unfailing love. And by his grace I was able to go into marriage experiencing freedom in the area of sex.
Be Encouraged! We have a God who rescues redeems heals and restores. He is able to do so much more than you can imagine or hope.
Robert I also placed my faith in Jesus at an early age. I remained a virgin until we married but had plenty of sexual promiscuity, especially in high school.
I learned about sex primarily from culture. In my church we were taught to stay away from sex because only bad things can happen until you get married. As a first born I complied but it was a daily struggle against my hormones that often resulted in masturbation.
I couldn't wait to have "legal sex" but I was not really looking to get married until I met Linda in 1982. After she beat me in a free throw shooting contest I knew she was The One and we married 18 months after meeting.
This kicked off [Phase 1] in our sex drive story. To be honest with you, this talk started on a napkin at a restaurant. We started drawing on the napkin a picture of our journey, which you now see in this chart. It's a little corny but we think it will help convey the story.
Linda The pink line depicts my sex drive and the blue line Robert's. During Phase 1 we had a robust sex life where our desires were in sync.
As young marrieds we were in a church where sex was never really talked about, so our own experiences were our guide and we were having fun. It never really dawned on us that couples struggled with sex.
In 2008 we entered [Phase 2]. This is when menopause hit and I wasn't sure what was going on. I couldn't sleep, think, had no energy and my sex drive disappeared, and I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to hurt Robert so I tried to avoid situations that might trigger his desire, like undressing in front of him.
I was working with my doctor and trying different natural remedies but nothing seemed to be helping. And then it felt like everything came crashing down when my dad died suddenly. I was very close to him – his only daughter and we shared the same birthday. I found myself overwhelmed with grief while dealing with the menopause stuff.
Robert During this time Linda was sometimes avoiding me (which made her feel bad) and I didn't really know why, and neither did she. We were not quite sure what to do. So I started adjusting my expectations. While I was frustrated by it I knew she was grieving the loss of her dad and I hoped she would snap out of it.
I hit 50 during this phase and started seeing the effects of mid-life, including a decrease in my sex drive. In some respects this was a blessing because it helped me to lower my expectations regarding frequency.
But during Phase 2 we were not in a desert. There were plenty of times of passion, just not with the frequency we had once enjoyed. For example, on our 25th anniversary we had a fun time in Car #23 on the mile-long Whistler gondola!
Linda Hey, at least we showed the restraint to skip #22, which was the glass bottom car.
Robert When we give this talk we often get the question: how long is the ride?
Linda A couple of things happened in 2010 that led us to [Phase 3].
First, I decided to try hormone replacement therapy. After trying a few options, I found a combination that did wonders for my energy and sex drive. You can see from the chart that every time I receive a treatment, which is a few times a year, it has an immediate impact on my sex drive.
Second, I attended a Bible study program that taught me how to memorize scripture, meditate on His Word, journal and pray, which helped me grow in my dependence on God.
Which was critical for me because when our sex drives flipped there were occasions when Robert didn't seem to desire me, and I would start to believe lies, like I was undesirable, and I would question my body image. But because of my time in God's word, I had the tools to fight these lies. I was reminded that what God tells me is true: that I'm made in His image, and that He loves me.
RobertToday, I can tell you that our sex life is better than ever. Yes, there are times when we are not as in-sync as we once were, but because we have each had seasons of being on the high and low side, we better understand each other and have more compassion for each other.
So we would like to leave you with 4 things that we learned through this journey. These were very helpful to us, and we've seen them be helpful to others. We believe these 4 things apply whether you are age 27, 47, 67 or anywhere in between.
We had to learn how to talk about this. And so must you. I TOTALLY understand how awkward this can be for many of you in this room. But this is important. Really important. If you personally are struggling in the area of sex, you must tell your spouse. Even if you do not know what is happening, which was often our case, it will be helpful to let your spouse into your struggle. By not discussing it you open the door to misunderstandings between you. AND, you actually deny your spouse the opportunity to love you if you keep it to yourself.
[Galatians 6:2 – Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.]
Linda When Robert wanted to talk about this topic, I would often take it personally. So if your spouse comes to you and wants to discuss this topic, listen compassionately and with an open mind. Hear their point of view. It surprised us how often one of us would be reluctant to discuss this topic yet the other was thinking almost the exact same thing! Each time we talked about sex, it became easier to discuss the next time.
We have also learned that as awkward as it is, it's important to communicate what you like sexually. It was hard for me to share what I liked. Robert helped me understand that I wasn't being selfish, because it was important to him to please me. In a marriage where both spouses are focused on serving each other, this is actually a way to love each other.
Robert 2. Don't pressure
This point is primarily for the spouse with the higher drive.
When Linda hit menopause and her desire changed dramatically, I quickly learned that pressuring her for sex was not a good idea. I tried to ask nicely, like "Feeling frisky TODAY?", but that would often make her feel guilty and put a damper on the evening. Another tip: if she's crying and you are comforting her, don't try to turn that into a sexual encounter.
Look at Paul's words in Philippians 2:
[Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.]
So, we are called to mutually serve one another. Pressuring your spouse to meet your needs is not "serving" them. We have found that a better way is to go back to #1 and discuss this in a way that honors your spouse.
Linda There were times when I found myself frustrated. That's when expressing those frustrations to God, asking him to change my heart, and allowing him to work in me made a difference. I found that my focus would change away from my needs.
One of the things that helped me a lot was trying to see the situation through Robert's eyes, so think for a moment about what you would do if your sex drives flipped. If you became the one on the low side, would you be encouraged if your spouse related to you the way that you are relating to them now? If not, what will you do to change that?
Robert 3. Don't withhold
This point is primarily for the spouse with the lower drive. This is the spouse that is in the position of power. When my desire is lower, I control the frequency with which we have sex. So how is a Christian in power supposed to act towards those under them? Consider the words of Jesus:
[Mark 10:42-44 – Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all."]
I am to serve, and that includes my spouse. Remember, your spouse does not have another sexual outlet. You are it.
Some spouses do not understand how much of a physical need sex is for their spouse. Paul understood this when he counseled couples in Corinth:
[1 Corinthians 7:3-5 – The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.]
Linda When we marry we give our bodies as a gift to our spouse. And It's important that we don't take that gift back - even when the demands of life get hard. You might be worn out from a day at work, or caring for an elderly parent.
When I was exhausted from nursing babies, caring for toddlers, the teenage years or the craziness of menopause – sex was the last thing on my mind but that's where sex starts.
Scripture has really helped to change my thinking. When negative thoughts like “I don't want to have sex” come into my mind I try to apply 2 Corinthians 10:5:
[We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ…]
When I surrender that thought to God, he will replace it with a desire to serve my spouse. I must choose to change my attitude and give unselfishly and allow God to work change, then I can focus on ways to make sex work, which means I might need to get creative.
For example, scheduling a time for sex. A quickie works great. When intercourse is not an option, there are plenty of other ways to pleasure your spouse!
Robert 4. Share
If you are struggling, it is wise to bring others into the conversation. This may be very difficult – it's hard enough to share with your spouse much less others! At our church the first place would normally be your small group members, guys with guys and girls with girls. Let them be the ones to help you decide the next steps to take. If you are not in a small group in your church, we highly recommend that you find a church that can be a safe place to discuss this.
[Proverbs 15:22 – Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.]
It will be helpful to have others around you because this can be complicated.
Linda Our sexual desire can be affected in many ways. Sometimes there is physical pain involved in sex and that needs to be shared with a doctor. It could also be a medical issue, so a next step might be to consult a medical professional. For me, hormone replacement therapy obviously made a big difference.
It could be something spiritual - because our spiritual life is so closely tied to our sex life. Are you trusting the Lord with everything, including your sex life? As you share this struggle with your group, ask them if they see any areas of your life where you could be struggling to submit and trust the Lord.
If sexual abuse is part of your story, there are ministries that can help. Don't suffer in silence. And if you are involved in porn, we beg you to seek help because it will impact your intimacy greatly.
Robert So to summarize the talk so far, Communicate | Don't Pressure | Don't Withhold | Share. Or, put another way, Communicate, Serve, and Share. We want to be crystal clear about one thing: you should leave here with a desire to better serve your spouse. Guys, if all you heard tonight is that your wife should not withhold sex, you have totally missed the point. Ladies, if all you heard tonight is that your husband should stop pressuring you for sex, you have missed the point. You MUST talk about this and come to a place where you are serving one another.
And please understand: if you make changes based on what you heard tonight, and things do not improve immediately, don't be discouraged! This may take time. That's why you need some friends around you to help encourage you on the journey.
My friends, God wants us to enjoy this incredible gift of sex. In case there's any doubt, realize that he dedicated an entire book in the Bible (Song of Solomon) to this topic!
Linda You can also visit the re|engage website to find some really helpful resources. Go to: [MarriageHelp.org/Sexual-Intimacy]
One of the resources mentioned on the site is a book called "Intimate Issues" by Linda Dillow and Elaine Pintus. It is a handbook to help you transform your sexual attitudes and enhance your sexual relationship. I recently led a group of women through it and I highly recommend it!
Robert We recognize in a crowd of this size there is bound to be some couples struggling in their relationship, perhaps specifically in the area of sex, and the thought of physical intimacy is a world away. Don't feel any pressure to leave here tonight and have sex or act like you have it all together in this area. We encourage you to simply get started talking about it.
If you would like help navigating how to talk about this with your spouse, or have questions about anything we've discussed, your leader would love to help.
Thank you for letting us share tonight!
This series contains teachings and testimonies of God's transforming power in marriages at re|engage. re|engage is designed specifically to address needs in marriage by helping couples move towards oneness in their marriage through stories of grace, teaching and small groups. Whether your marriage needs to be reignited, or is in need of a complete resurrection, re|engage is a safe place for couples to reconnect. It is a 16-week experience which includes a time of praise and worship, a teaching or a testimony by a couple who has experienced victory in the midst of hard times, and small group time which follows a specified curriculum. We meet every Wednesday night, 6:30-8:15 p.m. in The Loft (7540 LBJ Freeway @ Park Central, Dallas). Childcare is provided and registration is not required.
Re|engage is a weekly ministry for married couples to find help, learn, and grow in their marriage through a small-group setting.