David and Cait

David's insecurity, drinking, pornography, and infidelity created a toxic marriage that finally hit rock-bottom. Through confession, communication, and endurance, Cait and David's marriage experienced transformation by putting into practice God's design for marriage.

Nov 16, 2022Dallas

In This Series (321)
David and Lauren Kinney
Jan 25, 2023Dallas
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan
Jared & Leigh Anne SullivanJan 11, 2023Dallas
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek
Jan 4, 2023Dallas
Neil and Jody Curran
Dec 7, 2022Dallas
Scot and Michelle Buchanan
Nov 30, 2022Dallas
David and Cait
Nov 16, 2022Dallas
Wes and Angie Talley
Nov 9, 2022Dallas
Tobin and Christina Miller
Oct 26, 2022Dallas
Michael and Melinda Parisi
Michael Parisi, Melinda ParisiOct 12, 2022Dallas
David and Denise Renken
Sep 28, 2022Dallas
Bobby and Shari Johns
Sep 14, 2022Dallas
John and Debbie Wingfield
Sep 7, 2022Dallas
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine
Aug 31, 2022Dallas
Todd and Julie Anders
Todd AndersAug 24, 2022Dallas
LaDale and Cynthia Buggs
Aug 3, 2022Dallas
Chris and Katie Sherrod
Jul 27, 2022Dallas
Kyle and Lucina Thompson
Kyle & Lucinda ThompsonJul 20, 2022Dallas
Simon and Katrina Saugier
Jul 13, 2022Dallas
Willie and Gigi Hornberger
Jul 6, 2022Dallas
Mark and Julie Nicholson
Jun 22, 2022Dallas
Nate and Michelle Ball
Jun 15, 2022Dallas
Robbie and Teri Vedrenne
May 25, 2022Dallas
Paul and Kelly Rutherford
May 18, 2022Dallas
David and Tara Jensen
May 11, 2022Dallas
John and Jeanie Cox
May 4, 2022Dallas
Steve and Amie Bradley
Apr 27, 2022Dallas
Chris and Michelle Dishman
Apr 20, 2022Dallas
Kevin and Kelly Mainz
Apr 13, 2022Dallas
Jim and Judy Wimberley
Jim & Judy WimberleyApr 6, 2022Dallas
Dean and Tawney Macfarlan
Mar 30, 2022Dallas
Rob and Haley Thomas
Rob and Haley ThomasMar 23, 2022Dallas
Shane and Alissa Mauldin
Mar 16, 2022Dallas
David and Lauren Kinney
Mar 9, 2022Dallas
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek
Mar 2, 2022Dallas
Martha and Ivan Illarramendi
Feb 16, 2022Dallas
Ryan and Callie Nixon
Ryan & Callie NixonFeb 9, 2022Dallas
Alex and Jen Lesko
Jan 19, 2022Dallas
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan
Jan 12, 2022Dallas
Selena and Michael Thompson
Jan 5, 2022Dallas
Russ and Karen Fleig
Dec 15, 2021Dallas
Phil and Beth Brinkmeyer
Dec 8, 2021Dallas
Leonard and Mandy Bagdanov
Dec 1, 2021Dallas
Glenn and Desiree Newblom
Nov 17, 2021Dallas
Michael and Melinda Parisi
Nov 10, 2021Dallas
Bobby and Shari Johns
Nov 3, 2021Dallas
Brett and Jan Bruster
Oct 20, 2021Dallas
Wes and Angie Talley
Oct 13, 2021Dallas
Mac and Sophie Macfarlan
Oct 6, 2021Dallas
John and Debbie Wingfield
Sep 29, 2021
Brett and Chrisey Billman
Sep 15, 2021Dallas
Nate and Michelle Ball
Sep 8, 2021
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine
Aug 25, 2021Dallas
Divorce Panel
Jun 23, 2021
Trey and Shera O'Neal
Jun 16, 2021Dallas
LaDale and Cynthia Buggs
Jun 9, 2021Dallas
Shane and Alissa Mauldin
Jun 2, 2021Dallas
David and Tara Jensen
May 26, 2021Dallas
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan
May 19, 2021Dallas
Jim and Judy Wimberley
Jim & Judy WimberleyApr 28, 2021
Ivan and Martha Illarramendi
Apr 28, 2021Dallas
Billy and Amanda Porche
Apr 21, 2021Dallas
Steve and Amie Bradley
Apr 14, 2021Dallas
Griffin and Kami Stroope
Apr 7, 2021Dallas
David and Lauren Kinney
Mar 31, 2021Dallas
Rick and Michelle Howard
Mar 24, 2021Dallas
Glenn and Desiree Newblom
Mar 17, 2021Dallas
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek
Mar 3, 2021Dallas
David and Tara Jensen
Feb 24, 2021Dallas
Brett and Jan Bruster
Jan 20, 2021Dallas
Bobby and Shari Johns
Jan 13, 2021Dallas
Ryan and Callie Nixon
Aug 28, 2020
Steve and Amie Bradley
Jun 2, 2020
Testimony- Brian and Morgan Buchek
Mar 4, 2020Dallas
Testimony - David & Tara Jensen
Mar 2, 2020Plano
Blended Family Panel
Feb 26, 2020Dallas
Testimony - Greg & Jennifer Sutherland
Feb 24, 2020Plano
Testimony - Jacob & April Neely
Feb 17, 2020Plano
Troy and Julia Bussmeir
Feb 7, 2020
Russ and Katie Moyer
Feb 7, 2020
Nick and Rachel Klein
Feb 7, 2020
Mike and Shelly Ahlemeier
Feb 7, 2020
Matt and Andrea Walker
Feb 7, 2020
Luis and Kaylee Caceres
Feb 7, 2020
Graham and Stacey Robbins
Feb 7, 2020
Andy and Jenny Marsh
Feb 7, 2020
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan
Feb 5, 2020Dallas
Griffin and Kami Stroope Testimony
Jan 22, 2020
Testimony
Jan 8, 2020
Divorce Panel
Brett Bruster, Bobby Johns, Alissa MauldinNov 20, 2019
Testimony
LaDale & Cynthia BuggsNov 13, 2019
Testimony
Nov 6, 2019
Testimony- Glenn and Desiree Newblom
Oct 23, 2019
Michael and Selena Thompson
Oct 21, 2019
Testimony- Greg and Emily Goodin
Oct 16, 2019
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony
Sep 18, 2019
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony
Sep 11, 2019
Brandon and Brittani Travelstead
Sep 7, 2019
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony
Shane & Alissa MauldinAug 28, 2019
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony
Ryan & Callie Nixon, John & Pam McGeeAug 21, 2019
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony
Dru & Amanda GuillotAug 14, 2019Plano
Martin and Lenore Gao
Jul 24, 2019Dallas
Testimony - Shera and Trey O’Neal
Jul 10, 2019Dallas
John and Debbie Wingfield
Jun 12, 2019
Alex and Jen Lesko
Jun 12, 2019
Tim and Kalyn Gereg
Jun 5, 2019
Jimmy and Michelle Comeaux
May 29, 2019
Raeul and Susan Cox
May 15, 2019
Jason and Mandy Castro
May 15, 2019
David and Robin Howard
May 15, 2019
Ivan and Martha Illarramendi
May 1, 2019
Robert and Linda Green
Robert and Linda GreenApr 10, 2019
LaDale and Cynthia Buggs
Apr 10, 2019
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek
Apr 3, 2019
Billy and Amanda Porche
Mar 27, 2019
Brett and Jan Bruster
Brett & Jan BrusterMar 13, 2019
Greg and Emily Goodin
Mar 6, 2019
Charles and Karen Bundren
Charles & Karen BundrenFeb 6, 2019
Testimony
Nate & Michelle BallJan 30, 2019
Testimony - Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan
Jared & Leigh Anne SullivanJan 23, 2019
Bobby and Shari Johns
Bobby & Shari JohnsJan 9, 2019
Testimony - LaDale and Cynthia Buggs
LaDale & Cynthia BuggsDec 5, 2018
Re|Engage Spanish Night Testimony - Manuel & Elvia Lemus
Nov 14, 2018
Re|Engage Spanish Night Testimony - Ivan & Martha Illarramendi
Ivan & Martha IllarramendiNov 14, 2018
Ivan and Martha Illarramendi
Ivan & Martha IllarramendiNov 14, 2018
Testimony - Alex and Jen Lesko
Nov 7, 2018
Testimony - Raeul and Susan Cox
Raeul & Susan CoxOct 31, 2018
Simon and Katrina Saugier
Katrina Saugier, Simon SaugierOct 10, 2018
David and Denise Renken
David & Denise RenkenSep 10, 2018Plano
Testimony - Robert & Linda Green
Robert and Linda GreenSep 5, 2018
Testimony - Martin and Lenore Gao
Aug 29, 2018
Shane and Alissa Mauldin
Aug 22, 2018
Testimony - Markus and Mary Kay Jabek
Aug 15, 2018
Testimony - Charles and Karen Bundren
Charles Bundren, Karen Bundren, Charles & Karen BundrenAug 1, 2018
Testimony - Bobby & Shari Johns
Bobby & Shari JohnsJul 18, 2018
Testimony - Ivan & Martha
Ivan & Martha IllarramendiJun 27, 2018
Testimony - Tim & Kalyn Gereg
Jun 20, 2018
Greg & Tonya Gilmer
Greg & Tonya GilmerMay 30, 2018
Testimony - Ryan & Callie Nixon
Ryan & Callie NixonMay 23, 2018
Paul and Kelly Rutherford
Paul & Kelly RutherfordMay 9, 2018
Nate and Michelle Ball
Nate & Michelle BallMay 2, 2018
Kevin and Kelli Mainz
Kevin & Kelly MainzApr 18, 2018
Testimony - Greg and Emily Goodin
Greg Goodin, Emily GoodinMar 28, 2018
Testimony - John and Debbie Wingfield
John Wingfield, Debbie WingfieldMar 14, 2018
Testimony - Shane & Alissa Mauldin
Shane & Alissa MauldinFeb 28, 2018
Brett and Chrisey Billman
Brett & Chrisey BillmanFeb 21, 2018
Todd and Alex Wagner
Todd & Alex WagnerFeb 7, 2018
Teaching - Community
Scott CoyJan 24, 2018
Teaching- Completion
John & Pam McGeeDec 6, 2017
Testimony - Markus & Mary Kay Jabek
Markus & Mary Kay JabekNov 29, 2017
Testimony - Dave & Denise Renken
Dave & Denise RenkenNov 15, 2017
Robert and Liz White
Robert & Liz WhiteNov 8, 2017
Testimony- John and Pam McGee
John & Pam McGeeNov 1, 2017
Testimony- Charles and Karen Bundren
Charles & Karen BundrenOct 25, 2017
Testimony - John & Debbie Wingfield
John & Debbie WingfieldOct 18, 2017
Testimony - Greg & Tonya Gilmer
Greg & Tonya GilmerOct 11, 2017
Testimony - Ryan & Callie Nixon
Ryan & Callie NixonSep 20, 2017
Kyle and Lucina Thompson
Kyle & Lucinda ThompsonSep 13, 2017
Testimony - Jared & Leigh Anne Sullivan
Jared & Leigh Anne SullivanAug 30, 2017
Testimony - Bobby & Shari Johns
Bobby & Shari JohnsAug 23, 2017
John Paul and Rena
Aug 16, 2017
Testimony - Paul & Kelly Rutherford
Paul and Kelly RutherfordJul 26, 2017
Trey and Shera O'Neal
Trey O'Neal , Shera O'NealJul 19, 2017
Testimony - Kevin & Kelli Mainz
Kelli Mainz, Kevin MainzJul 12, 2017
Erick and Gina Frank
Jun 28, 2017
Martin & Lenore Gao Testimony
May 31, 2017
Tyler and Jenny O'Neal
May 24, 2017
Mark and Kathy Thomas
May 17, 2017
Peter and Eleanor Boynton
May 10, 2017
Testimony - Shane & Alissa Mauldin
May 3, 2017
Eric and Catherine Couch
Eric Couch, Catherine CouchApr 19, 2017
Bill and Ann Daly
Mar 29, 2017
Testimony - LaDale & Cynthia Buggs
Mar 22, 2017
Testimony - Nate & Michelle Ball
Nate Ball, Michelle Ball Mar 15, 2017
Michael and Stefanie Santiago
Mar 6, 2017
Steve and Natalie Hamm
Re|EngageFeb 20, 2017
Testimony - Brett & Chrisey Billman
Brett Billman, Chrisey BillmanFeb 15, 2017
Chris and Charece Robbins
Feb 8, 2017
Testimony - Charles & Karen Bundren
Feb 1, 2017
Klein and Holly Swannie
Jan 18, 2017
Dean and Tawney Macfarlan
Jan 11, 2017
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine
Dec 21, 2016
Testimony - Kevin and Kelli Mainz
Nov 30, 2016
Testimony - Robert & Liz White
Liz White, Robert White Nov 9, 2016
Testimony - John & Debbie Wingfield
Oct 26, 2016
Testimony - Mark & Kathy Thomas
Oct 12, 2016
Testimony - Bobby and Shari Johns
Oct 5, 2016
Testimony - Simon & Katrina Saugier
Simon Saugier, Katrina SaugierSep 28, 2016
Testimony - Shane & Alissa Mauldin
Shane Mauldin, Alissa MauldinSep 21, 2016
Teaching - The Importance of Fun in Marriage
John & Pam McGeeSep 14, 2016
Testimony
Paul and Kelly RutherfordAug 24, 2016
Teaching - Sexual Intimacy
Robert and Linda GreenAug 17, 2016
Rick and Michele Howard
Re|EngageAug 10, 2016
Scott and Laura DeBow
Re|EngageJul 27, 2016
Zech and Kim Lumpkin
Re|EngageJul 20, 2016
Tyler and Jenny O'Neal Testimony
Re|EngageJul 13, 2016
Scott and Kristen Kedersha
Re|EngageJun 22, 2016
Bill and Ann Daly
Re|EngageJun 15, 2016
Bobby and Shari Johns
Re|EngageJun 8, 2016
Newly and Karen Spikes
Jun 2, 2016
Jon and Kathy Flaming
Re|EngageMay 11, 2016
Brett and Jan Bruster
Re|EngageApr 27, 2016
Reid and Jenny Griffin
Re|EngageApr 20, 2016
Kyle and Lucina Thompson
Re|EngageApr 13, 2016
Chris and Charece Robbins
Re|EngageMar 23, 2016
Brett and Chrisey Billman
Re|EngageMar 9, 2016
Dee and Roddy Elliott
Re|EngageMar 2, 2016
Derek and Stacy Braziel
Re|EngageFeb 17, 2016
Greg and Tonya Gilmer
Re|EngageFeb 3, 2016
Adam and Brooke Fish
Re|EngageJan 27, 2016
Shane and Alissa Mauldin
Re|EngageJan 13, 2016
Everett and Emily Alexander
Re|EngageJan 6, 2016
Mark and Kathy Thomas
Re|EngageDec 16, 2015
Divorce Panel
Re|EngageDec 9, 2015
Matt and Amy Levy
Re|EngageNov 18, 2015
Robert and Liz White
Re|EngageNov 4, 2015
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson
Re|EngageOct 21, 2015
Greg and Tonya Gilmer
Re|EngageOct 7, 2015
Chris and Charece Robbins
Re|EngageSep 30, 2015
Dru and Amanda Guillot
Re|EngageSep 23, 2015
Dee and Roddy Elliott
Re|EngageSep 16, 2015
Warren and Angie Wright
Re|EngageSep 9, 2015
Derek and Stacy Braziel
Re|EngageSep 2, 2015
Chris and Dana Adamson
Re|EngageJul 10, 2015
Jeremy and Mindi Patty
Re|EngageJul 8, 2015
Bobby and Shari Johns
Re|EngageJun 17, 2015
Jim and Judy Wimberley
Re|EngageJun 3, 2015
Kevin and Kelli Mainz
Re|EngageMay 20, 2015
Brett and Chrisey Billman
Re|EngageMay 11, 2015
Jason and Mandy Castro
Re|EngageMay 6, 2015
Kyle and Lucina Thompson
Re|EngageApr 29, 2015
Reid and Jenny Griffin
Re|EngageApr 22, 2015
Greg and Tonya Gilmer
Re|EngageApr 1, 2015
Raeul and Susan Cox
Re|EngageMar 18, 2015
Dee and Roddy Elliott
Re|EngageFeb 25, 2015
John and Meredith Hall
Re|EngageFeb 18, 2015
Ryan and Callie Nixon
Re|EngageFeb 11, 2015
Adam and Brooke Fish
Re|EngageJan 28, 2015
Shane and Alissa Mauldin
Re|EngageJan 14, 2015
Bobby and Shari Johns
Re|EngageDec 3, 2014
Bobby and Shari Johns
Re|EngageDec 3, 2014
Greg and Tonya Gilmer
Greg Gilmer, Re|Engage, Tanya GilmerNov 19, 2014
Robert and Liz White
Re|EngageNov 12, 2014
A.C. and Debi Ndindjock
Re|EngageNov 5, 2014
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine
Re|EngageOct 22, 2014
Reid and Jenny Griffin
Re|EngageOct 15, 2014
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson
Re|EngageOct 13, 2014
Bill and Kathryn Buntyn
Re|EngageOct 1, 2014
Nate and Teresa Graybill
Re|EngageSep 24, 2014
Robert and Lou Ann McMillen
Re|EngageSep 17, 2014
Dee and Roddy Elliott
Re|EngageSep 17, 2014
Kirk and Cathy McJunkin
Re|EngageAug 27, 2014
Adam and Jackie Tarnow - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageAug 13, 2014
Kyle and Lucina Thompson - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageJul 30, 2014
Joey and Christian Rider - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageJul 2, 2014
Jason and Mandy Castro - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageJun 25, 2014
Jeff and Martha Sharrock - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageJun 18, 2014
Scott and Kristen Kedersha - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageJun 11, 2014
Zech and Kim Lumpkin - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageJun 4, 2014
Chris and Charece Robbins - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageMay 7, 2014
Robert and Linda Green
Re|EngageApr 30, 2014
Everett and Emily Alexander - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageApr 23, 2014
Bobby and Shari Johns - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageApr 16, 2014
Neal and Ann Holford - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageApr 9, 2014
Les and Desi Brown - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageMar 26, 2014
Simon and Katrina Saugier - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageJan 22, 2014
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageJan 15, 2014
Chris and Dana Adamson - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageJan 8, 2014
Rick and Michele Howard - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageDec 18, 2013
Divorce Panel - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageDec 11, 2013
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageNov 20, 2013
Dee and Roddy Elliott - re|engage Testimony
Re|EngageNov 13, 2013
Mike and Laura Labunski
Re|EngageNov 6, 2013
Robert and Liz White - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageOct 30, 2013
Eddy and Rachel Badrina - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageOct 23, 2013
Shane and Alissa Mauldin - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageOct 16, 2013
David and Denise Renken - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageOct 9, 2013
Reid and Jenny Griffin - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageSep 25, 2013
A.C. and Debi Ndindjock - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageSep 18, 2013
Joey and Christian Rider - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageSep 11, 2013
Scott and Kristen Kedersha
Re|EngageAug 7, 2013
Jeff and Martha Sharrock
Re|EngageJul 31, 2013
Neal and Ann Holford - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMay 29, 2013
Wes and Brandy Butler - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageApr 3, 2013
Andy and Jennifer Bailey - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMar 27, 2013
Lance and Mandy Sisco - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageJan 16, 2013
Leonard and Mandy Bagdanov - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageDec 19, 2012
Blake and Rebecca Holmes - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageOct 10, 2012
Chris and Dana - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageAug 8, 2012
Catherine and Tom - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageApr 25, 2012
Angie and Warren Wright - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMar 28, 2012
Teri and Robbie Vedrenne - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMar 21, 2012
Tawney and Dean Macfarlan - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMar 14, 2012
Brooke and Adam Fish - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageFeb 29, 2012
Judy and Jim Wimberly - Re|Engage Testiomony
Re|EngageFeb 22, 2012
Kim and Zech Lumpkin - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageFeb 8, 2012
Mary and Ted Randall - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageJan 11, 2012
Susan and Raeul - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageDec 21, 2011
Katie and Brandon Lokey - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageDec 14, 2011
Mindi and Jeremy - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageNov 30, 2011
Lisbeth and Hil Bowman - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageOct 19, 2011
Meredith and John Hall - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageSep 28, 2011
Tanna and Rick - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageSep 14, 2011
Cathy and Kirk McJunkin - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageAug 24, 2011
Crystal and Anthony Obey - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageJul 27, 2011
Rachel and Eddy
Re|EngageJun 29, 2011
Lucina and Kyle Thompson - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageJun 22, 2011
Adam and Aleks Stewart - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageJun 15, 2011
Linda and John Berry - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMay 25, 2011
Lora and Jeff Strese - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMay 11, 2011
Julie and Todd Anders - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageApr 27, 2011
Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageApr 20, 2011
Jackie and Adam Tarnow - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMar 23, 2011
Ann and Matt Piper - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageFeb 16, 2011
Cindy and Mike Homsher - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageNov 3, 2010
Julie and Scott Sedberry - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageOct 13, 2010
Rebecca and Chip Dickens - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageAug 25, 2010
Missy and David Leventhal - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageAug 18, 2010
Carrie and Troy Patterson - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageJun 30, 2010
Sheri and Brett Johnston - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMay 19, 2010
Tanna and Rick Wisner - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMay 12, 2010
Anna and Kavon Moradi - Re|Engage Testimony
Re|EngageMar 24, 2010

In This Series (378)

David Let’s pray: Lord, thank you for all those you have gathered in this room tonight and thank you for the story that you are writing in their lives. Thank you for how you have redeemed our marriage and restored our relationship with you. If there is anything helpful in our story, please let it stick with these couples – and if there is anything not from you, please let it not stick in anyone’s mind. Amen.

Hey everyone, I am David and this is my lovely wife Cait. We met each other at UT Dallas in 2010, dated for 4 years, and married in the spring of 2015, so we’ve been married 7 years. I wish we could say that everything has been smooth sailing for us in marriage, but it definitely has not been.

I grew up in McKinney just north of here. As a kid I was much more sensitive than the other boys - I preferred art and nature instead of soccer and baseball - I was different - and this led to the start of a deep insecurity. To make matters worse, I was exposed to pornography on the playground at age 10 which kicked-off a 20 year addiction with with lust, masturbation and pursuing sexual relationships. From a young age my identity quickly became tied up in girls and what they thought of me.

Cait I grew up in a single parent, atheist home with two brothers and a sister. My dad died when I was 6, so growing up I had no idea of what a marriage should be or what it meant to follow Christ. My mom was everything to me - she was loving and the example of the strong woman I strived to be. I was living for myself and had no boundaries. I was prideful, self-reliant, controlling, and arrogant and I brought all of those into my marriage. Security and consistency were big motivators for me in life. I came to know Christ in college, but not much changed in terms of my thoughts or how I lived my life. We had friends who got married before us and I remember them telling us “oh my first year of marriage was the absolute best!” and being annoyed and exasperated because that was not the case for us.

David When I was 15 I accepted Christ as my savior, but my life didn’t reflect any sort of consistent relationship where I was following and obeying Jesus. My need to be wanted and validated by girls continued to grow and I soon started cheating in any relationship that I was in. This pattern followed me throughout college, where a fraternity environment fueled by alcohol and drugs wreaked havoc.

I quit my fraternity my senior year with the hopes of improving my grades and getting a job after school. This is when Cait and I started dating.

Fast forward to two years into marriage: I was in a job I hated and ended up leaving with the goal of us starting our own business. Month after month, I grew increasingly frustrated as our plan started to falter. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my identity was grounded in my career and I was exceptionally insecure with the lack of success. Out of this three things happened - first, I started drinking on a daily basis, often when Cait was off at work. Quickly following that, pornography became a multi-hour, multiple-times a day obsession where I would escape from my insecurity. And third, I became so frustrated with progress on a business that I took $90,000 of our savings and put it into a high-risk asset - all without telling Cait. Aside from concealing this from Cait (which is lying), that investment quickly ballooned to over a $1,000,000 in 6 short months. I thought, wow, I’ve made it. I’m 26 and secured the million dollar dream. What a delusion. What I thought would have brought a ton of peace and comfort actually brought an exceptional amount of anxiety, greed, and arrogance. The asset was highly volatile, and I started to experience suicidal thoughts watching the dramatic up and down swings of our bank account.

I knew I was out of control and needed help. That’s when I started re:generation, which is re|engage’s sister ministry that focuses on care and recovery. Thank God - because that $1,000,000 disappeared just as fast as it was gained - Proverbs 13:11, Wealth gained hastily will dwindle. Without the community of my re:gen group, I don’t want to think about where I would have spiraled. During the year that I was in re:gen I was focused on fixing my porn problem – which, at face value sounds fine – but that’s the problem, God has to heal that. So it wasn’t too many months later that I found myself running back to pornography again as a coping mechanism.

Our problems came to a head during a trip to Austin where I ended up downloading a dating app late at night, matching with a girl, and then proceeding to engage in sexually explicity conversation and exchanging photos. I confessed to Cait two weeks later, but continued to struggle with this off and on for months.

Cait We fought constantly and I couldn’t understand why I married this person. We’d slam doors, I’d run out of the house screaming at him. He’d get in my face; trying to provoke me by begging me to hit him. We were a mess. But he had the porn problem and that was the source of our problems right? But here I am, the sole financial earner in our very new marriage, he’s reaching out to women outside of our marriage, and he’s lying to me about the money that I earned and putting all of our savings into something he didn’t even tell me about. If he didn’t do all that, then we’d have a great marriage. I deserve better.
That’s the lie I kept telling myself. That I was without sin and he is objectively the only one in the wrong. What I didn’t fully grasp was my own issues I would constantly bring into our arguments. I was riddled with pride and constantly thought that I was the better spouse.

I told David we needed to start re|engage and I’d be lying if I said my intention was to fix “us”. I really thought I was coming into this to fix David. We showed up and I remember rating our marriage a 1 at the end of the night. By the time we got into a closed group 2 things happened:

1) Our first closed group meeting was the day before everything shut down due to Covid.
2) And on the way into the closed-group I got a call from my mom letting me know she just got diagnosed with cancer.

I was devastated. I thought the world was completely falling apart around me and I had no sense of stability in my life. I was my mom’s main caretaker and that meant frequently driving her to Houston for her appointments and leaving my very fragile marriage behind for days at a time. Everything was out of my control. My codependency had me a complete nervous wreck because I couldn’t just leave David to his own devices while I was gone for extended periods of time. I actually prayed God would take David out of my life, so I wouldn’t have to feel the guilt of defeat and failure of a divorce. With the pandemic and my mom’s cancer, we were completely home-bound and quarantined. We couldn’t see anyone since she was in two compromised groups - age and cancer. We saw no one. Just each other and my mom.

During this time I held nothing back. He couldn’t run, I couldn’t run. We were forced to face our problems. It was painful. I really did not expect re|engage to do much, however I was at my wits end and willing to try anything.

We had to grow into it but we started identifying problems in our marriage: I recognized how much James 1:19 plays a role in my day to day life, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God”. I didn’t fully grasp how angry I was, how quarrelsome I was towards David. I was blind to my own faults. Blind to how much I disrespected him with my words, my body language, and my thoughts about him. God tells us in Ephesians 5:33 Men love your wives, and wives respect your husbands – this isn’t what comes naturally to us in moments of frustration or when we least deserve it. When I stopped focusing on what David did wrong and started focusing on how I could better respect and serve him is when my heart started to soften towards him. He didn’t deserve it, just like we don’t deserve God’s grace, but I knew something had to change.

David I still remember our first night in re|engage. I was terrified. I knew we needed help but I didn’t want to be vulnerable with others. I am SO glad we stuck with it though.

It was about halfway through re|engage that we started to see transformation in our marriage and in our relationships with the Lord.

Isaiah 1:18 says, "Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.

Despite the trouble and heartache that Covid brought for many. We are thankful for how God used it as an incubator to slow us down and force us to focus on our relationship with Him and with each other. I was furloughed from my job, Cait started working from home, and that left us stuck having to face and process each other’s pain. Daily, we had to reconcile with each other and work together through our problems in real time. One of the key things we uncovered is how we are wired in completely different ways: I’m way more extroverted than Cait. I’m also way more of a feeler and external processor - Cait on the other hand is more guarded and an internal processor. This time forced us to see eye to eye and to gain a mutual understanding for each other.

During re|engage we also uncovered a few nuggets of wisdom that we now live by:

1) Over-commitment
We do not do well with back-to-back social engagements. I am a social butterfly and say yes to too many things, often booking up every moment of our weeks and weekends - leaving little room for rest or time to connect in our relationship.

Cait And I am not wired that way. Being an introvert, I have what we affectionately call “a tiny gas tank”. I get easily overwhelmed and frustrated without sufficient time to process by myself and recharge. This seems so straightforward, but was a critical friction point that we both had to take ground to understand and see each other eye-to-eye on.

2) Intentional connection
Tying into the first point, we learned we need to take the time to intentionally connect with one another in a meaningful way. I don’t tend to just open up and share my feelings.

David So once a week we sit down for what we call “green chair time” - where we sit in our favorite two green chairs and we have a series of questions that we ask each other to help open up and communicate. We talk about our wants, desires, fears, sins, shortcomings and pitfalls. We also dig in and ask what went well the week before, build each other up, and how we can serve each other throughout the upcoming week. It’s a safe space for us to air out anything that might have start to develop into resentments. It’s a lot like gardening - weeding the garden is not a once a year activity. On top of prioritizing and syncing our emotions during our chair time, we prioritize seeking the Lord, praying together daily, and finding moments throughout the day where we can connect. When we put all of this into practice, it makes it very difficult for selfishness to take root.

Cait 3) Recognizing our own faults.
I put the blame of so much of our marital struggles on David because it was a tangible sin. There were pinpoint moments of sin that were easily defined - cheating via apps, lying or concealing information. Those are moments we can specifically recall an action taking place and say A+B led to C. But sin isn’t so linear. It’s not always an off/off switch. My pride may not be a well defined box, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t there or it isn’t ugly or just as destructive. I had to learn to identify how my pride was appearing and then address that with God and David on a daily basis.

So where are we at today? Today, I don’t know that our marriage has ever been in a sweeter spot. And almost every month I say that: “It can’t get better than this” and it does. I still have my issues with pride and codependency but I now seek God to understand when I’m about to escalate and how to take a step back and seek mutual understanding rather than fighting to be right.

David I 100% agree - we are by no means perfect, afterall, we are two sinners married to each other and that results in conflict and trouble still. However with Christ in our relationship and as our savior, redeemer, and advocate, our relationship continues to grow in new and dynamic ways. Just the other day we both were talking about how despite us both gaining 30 pounds since college, we’re more attracted to each other now than ever before. We prioritize creating a safe space where we can be vulnerable with each other; this looks like us actively and considerately addressing issues, thoughts, and emotions before they ever develop into resentments or bigger problems in our marriage. I can honestly say that Cait is my best friend and I truly view her as a teammate in life and not a source of resentment anymore.

Cait We’re still learning more and more about each other despite being together for over a decade. We’re intimate in a way that I never thought possible physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Most of the time we can now laugh through our conflict - which is such a strange and beautiful departure from slamming doors and throwing verbal punches at one another. We now serve in Merge, Watermark’s premarital ministry for engaged or dating couples, and when we tell our tables about how our marriage was and they can see the same early struggles within their relationships they ask us “how did you do it?” “how do you have such a great marriage despite all the struggles and infidelity” - People want to hear the silver bullet, but the only silver bullet is God. It is by His grace and transforming love that we are now free to share that love with others - including our spouse.

David If we could leave you with any advice as you go through re|engage, we would encourage you to do the following:

  1. Confess Early: Proverbs 28:13 says, Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. I’ve learned a lot of things the hard way and confession is one of those. When you confess, you’re living in the light and putting your trust, control, and circumstances in God’s hands and not your own. He is much more capable than you are. Matthew 10:29-31, Jesus says: Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. We see that God cares even about the mundane details of your life like the hairs on your head that He created - how much more will He show his mercy and grace in the midst of confession?

  2. Don’t Miss this Moment: This ties to point #1. You’re in an incredibly unique season of life going through re|engage. This is the time to take ground. A book I was recently reading painted the Christian life as one that increases in two things: yieldedness to God and collaboration with God. Both point towards giving way to God and collaborating with His design for life on a daily basis.

Cait 3. Third - don’t give up. No matter how dire the circumstances or how much those around you tell you you need to get out, Christ can redeem your marriage and it’s a truly beautiful sight to see. Galatians 6:9, And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. God is in the midst of writing your story. Keep asking Him for help and drawing the circle around yourself - fix everything in that circle and watch what God will do.

David Thank y’all for your time and listening to our story.


About 're|engage Testimonies'

This series contains teachings and testimonies of God's transforming power in marriages at re|engage. re|engage is designed specifically to address needs in marriage by helping couples move towards oneness in their marriage through stories of grace, teaching and small groups. Whether your marriage needs to be reignited, or is in need of a complete resurrection, re|engage is a safe place for couples to reconnect. It is a 16-week experience which includes a time of praise and worship, a teaching or a testimony by a couple who has experienced victory in the midst of hard times, and small group time which follows a specified curriculum. We meet every Wednesday night, 6:30-8:15 p.m. in The Loft (7540 LBJ Freeway @ Park Central, Dallas). Childcare is provided and registration is not required.