“I was counseled to forgive and keep quiet, to not talk about it.” Between passivity and an affair, there was no way this marriage could be saved except through the grace of God.
Doug and Dyann Kierstead |
Ben and LK Ortiz |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Monte and Marsha Dunn |
Julie and Mark Nicholson |
Jerry and Lori |
Steve and Amie Bradley |
Marcus and Carol Brown |
Nancy and Mark Rovenstine |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
David and Cait |
Mandy and Leonard Bagdanov |
Michelle and Nate Ball |
Nate and Megan Mickish |
Wes and Angie Talley |
Jen and Alex Lesko |
Alissa and Shane Mauldin |
Daniel and Cynthia Costa |
Sheri and Brett Johnston |
Robert and Linda Green |
John and Jeanie Cox |
Wade and Betsy Nowlin |
David and Tara Jensen |
Jim and Judy Wimberley |
Jimmy and Michelle Comeaux |
Kevin and Kelli Mainz |
David and Manuela Acosta |
Rob and Haley Thomas |
Robbie and Teri Vedrenne |
Rick and Michelle Howard |
Matt and Jenn Farlow |
David and Lauren Kinney |
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
Neil and Jody Curran |
Scot and Michelle Buchanan |
David and Cait |
Wes and Angie Talley |
Tobin and Christina Miller |
Michael and Melinda Parisi |
David and Denise Renken |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
John and Debbie Wingfield |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine |
Todd and Julie Anders |
LaDale and Cynthia Buggs |
Chris and Katie Sherrod |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
Simon and Katrina Saugier |
Willie and Gigi Hornberger |
Mark and Julie Nicholson |
Nate and Michelle Ball |
Robbie and Teri Vedrenne |
Paul and Kelly Rutherford |
David and Tara Jensen |
John and Jeanie Cox |
Steve and Amie Bradley |
Chris and Michelle Dishman |
Kevin and Kelly Mainz |
Jim and Judy Wimberley |
Dean and Tawney Macfarlan |
Rob and Haley Thomas |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
David and Lauren Kinney |
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
Ryan and Callie Nixon |
Alex and Jen Lesko |
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Selena and Michael Thompson |
Russ and Karen Fleig |
Phil and Beth Brinkmeyer |
Leonard and Mandy Bagdanov |
Glenn and Desiree Newblom |
Michael and Melinda Parisi |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Brett and Jan Bruster |
Wes and Angie Talley |
Mac and Sophie Macfarlan |
John and Debbie Wingfield |
Brett and Chrisey Billman |
Nate and Michelle Ball |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine |
Divorce Panel |
Trey and Shera O'Neal |
LaDale and Cynthia Buggs |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
David and Tara Jensen |
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Jim and Judy Wimberley |
Steve and Amie Bradley |
Griffin and Kami Stroope |
David and Lauren Kinney |
Rick and Michelle Howard |
Glenn and Desiree Newblom |
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
David and Tara Jensen |
Brett and Jan Bruster |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Ryan and Callie Nixon |
Steve and Amie Bradley |
Testimony- Brian and Morgan Buchek |
Testimony - David & Tara Jensen |
Blended Family Panel |
Testimony - Greg & Jennifer Sutherland |
Testimony - Jacob & April Neely |
Troy and Julia Bussmeir |
Nick and Rachel Klein |
Mike and Shelly Ahlemeier |
Matt and Andrea Walker |
Luis and Kaylee Caceres |
Graham and Stacey Robbins |
Andy and Jenny Marsh |
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Griffin and Kami Stroope Testimony |
Testimony |
Divorce Panel |
Testimony |
Testimony |
Testimony- Glenn and Desiree Newblom |
Michael and Selena Thompson |
Testimony- Greg and Emily Goodin |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Brandon and Brittani Travelstead |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Martin and Lenore Gao |
Testimony - Shera and Trey O’Neal |
John and Debbie Wingfield |
Alex and Jen Lesko |
Tim and Kalyn Gereg |
Jimmy and Michelle Comeaux |
Jason and Mandy Castro |
David and Robin Howard |
Robert and Linda Green |
LaDale and Cynthia Buggs |
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
Brett and Jan Bruster |
Greg and Emily Goodin |
Charles and Karen Bundren |
Testimony |
Testimony - Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Testimony - LaDale and Cynthia Buggs |
Re|Engage Spanish Night Testimony - Manuel & Elvia Lemus |
Testimony - Alex and Jen Lesko |
Simon and Katrina Saugier |
David and Denise Renken |
Testimony - Robert & Linda Green |
Testimony - Martin and Lenore Gao |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
Testimony - Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
Testimony - Charles and Karen Bundren |
Testimony - Bobby & Shari Johns |
Testimony - Ivan & Martha |
Testimony - Tim & Kalyn Gereg |
Greg & Tonya Gilmer |
Testimony - Ryan & Callie Nixon |
Paul and Kelly Rutherford |
Nate and Michelle Ball |
Kevin and Kelli Mainz |
Testimony - Greg and Emily Goodin |
Testimony - John and Debbie Wingfield |
Testimony - Shane & Alissa Mauldin |
Brett and Chrisey Billman |
Todd and Alex Wagner |
Teaching - Community |
Teaching- Completion |
Testimony - Markus & Mary Kay Jabek |
Testimony - Dave & Denise Renken |
Robert and Liz White |
Testimony- John and Pam McGee |
Testimony- Charles and Karen Bundren |
Testimony - John & Debbie Wingfield |
Testimony - Greg & Tonya Gilmer |
Testimony - Ryan & Callie Nixon |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
Testimony - Jared & Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Testimony - Bobby & Shari Johns |
John Paul and Rena |
Testimony - Paul & Kelly Rutherford |
Trey and Shera O'Neal |
Testimony - Kevin & Kelli Mainz |
Erick and Gina Frank |
Martin & Lenore Gao Testimony |
Tyler and Jenny O'Neal |
Mark and Kathy Thomas |
Peter and Eleanor |
Testimony - Shane & Alissa Mauldin |
Eric and Catherine Couch |
Bill and Ann Daly |
Testimony - LaDale & Cynthia Buggs |
Testimony - Nate & Michelle Ball |
Michael and Stefanie Santiago |
Steve and Natalie Hamm |
Testimony - Brett & Chrisey Billman |
Chris and Charece Robbins |
Testimony - Charles & Karen Bundren |
Klein and Holly Swannie |
Dean and Tawney Macfarlan |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine |
Testimony - Kevin and Kelli Mainz |
Testimony - Robert & Liz White |
Testimony - John & Debbie Wingfield |
Testimony - Mark & Kathy Thomas |
Testimony - Bobby and Shari Johns |
Testimony - Simon & Katrina Saugier |
Testimony - Shane & Alissa Mauldin |
Teaching - The Importance of Fun in Marriage |
Testimony |
Teaching - Sexual Intimacy |
Rick and Michele Howard |
Scott and Laura DeBow |
Zech and Kim Lumpkin |
Tyler and Jenny O'Neal Testimony |
Scott and Kristen Kedersha |
Bill and Ann Daly |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Newly and Karen Spikes |
Jon and Kathy Flaming |
Brett and Jan Bruster |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
Chris and Charece Robbins |
Brett and Chrisey Billman |
Dee and Roddy Elliott |
Derek and Stacy Braziel |
Greg and Tonya Gilmer |
Adam and Brooke Fish |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
Everett and Emily Alexander |
Mark and Kathy Thomas |
Divorce Panel |
Matt and Amy Levy |
Robert and Liz White |
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson |
Greg and Tonya Gilmer |
Chris and Charece Robbins |
Dru and Amanda Guillot |
Dee and Roddy Elliott |
Warren and Angie Wright |
Derek and Stacy Braziel |
Chris and Dana Adamson |
Jeremy and Mindi Patty |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Jim and Judy Wimberley |
Kevin and Kelli Mainz |
Brett and Chrisey Billman |
Jason and Mandy Castro |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
Greg and Tonya Gilmer |
Dee and Roddy Elliott |
John and Meredith Hall |
Ryan and Callie Nixon |
Adam and Brooke Fish |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Greg and Tonya Gilmer |
Robert and Liz White |
A.C. and Debi Ndindjock |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine |
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson |
Bill and Kathryn Buntyn |
Nate and Teresa Graybill |
Robert and Lou Ann McMillen |
Dee and Roddy Elliott |
Kirk and Cathy McJunkin |
Adam and Jackie Tarnow - Re|Engage Testimony |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson - Re|Engage Testimony |
Joey and Christian Rider - re|engage Testimony |
Jason and Mandy Castro - re|engage Testimony |
Jeff and Martha Sharrock - re|engage Testimony |
Scott and Kristen Kedersha - re|engage Testimony |
Zech and Kim Lumpkin - re|engage Testimony |
Chris and Charece Robbins - re|engage Testimony |
Robert and Linda Green |
Everett and Emily Alexander - re|engage Testimony |
Bobby and Shari Johns - re|engage Testimony |
Neal and Ann Holford - re|engage Testimony |
Les and Desi Brown - re|engage Testimony |
Simon and Katrina Saugier - re|engage Testimony |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine - re|engage Testimony |
Chris and Dana Adamson - re|engage Testimony |
Rick and Michele Howard - re|engage Testimony |
Divorce Panel - re|engage Testimony |
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson - re|engage Testimony |
Dee and Roddy Elliott - re|engage Testimony |
Mike and Laura Labunski |
Robert and Liz White - Re|Engage Testimony |
Eddy and Rachel Badrina - Re|Engage Testimony |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin - Re|Engage Testimony |
David and Denise Renken - Re|Engage Testimony |
A.C. and Debi Ndindjock - Re|Engage Testimony |
Joey and Christian Rider - Re|Engage Testimony |
Scott and Kristen Kedersha |
Jeff and Martha Sharrock |
Neal and Ann Holford - Re|Engage Testimony |
Wes and Brandy Butler - Re|Engage Testimony |
Andy and Jennifer Bailey - Re|Engage Testimony |
Lance and Mandy Sisco - Re|Engage Testimony |
Leonard and Mandy Bagdanov - Re|Engage Testimony |
Blake and Rebecca Holmes - Re|Engage Testimony |
Chris and Dana - Re|Engage Testimony |
Catherine and Tom - Re|Engage Testimony |
Angie and Warren Wright - Re|Engage Testimony |
Teri and Robbie Vedrenne - Re|Engage Testimony |
Tawney and Dean Macfarlan - Re|Engage Testimony |
Brooke and Adam Fish - Re|Engage Testimony |
Judy and Jim Wimberly - Re|Engage Testiomony |
Kim and Zech Lumpkin - Re|Engage Testimony |
Mary and Ted Randall - Re|Engage Testimony |
Katie and Brandon Lokey - Re|Engage Testimony |
Mindi and Jeremy - Re|Engage Testimony |
Lisbeth and Hil Bowman - Re|Engage Testimony |
Meredith and John Hall - Re|Engage Testimony |
Tanna and Rick - Re|Engage Testimony |
Cathy and Kirk McJunkin - Re|Engage Testimony |
Crystal and Anthony Obey - Re|Engage Testimony |
Rachel and Eddy |
Lucina and Kyle Thompson - Re|Engage Testimony |
Adam and Aleks Stewart - Re|Engage Testimony |
Linda and John Berry - Re|Engage Testimony |
Lora and Jeff Strese - Re|Engage Testimony |
Julie and Todd Anders - Re|Engage Testimony |
Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs - Re|Engage Testimony |
Jackie and Adam Tarnow - Re|Engage Testimony |
Ann and Matt Piper - Re|Engage Testimony |
Cindy and Mike Homsher - Re|Engage Testimony |
Julie and Scott Sedberry - Re|Engage Testimony |
Rebecca and Chip Dickens - Re|Engage Testimony |
Missy and David Leventhal - Re|Engage Testimony |
Carrie and Troy Patterson - Re|Engage Testimony |
Sheri and Brett Johnston - Re|Engage Testimony |
Tanna and Rick Wisner - Re|Engage Testimony |
Anna and Kavon Moradi - Re|Engage Testimony |
SHERA: “There was a lion out there, ready to devour me,” said Shera O’Neal. “Hiding in plain sight, he was ready to consume my family, my life and my walk with the Lord. But I thought everything was just fine. I didn’t think about guarding myself every day. I was totally unprepared.
“I grew up in a Christian home. My parents taught me about the Bible, about sin separating me from the Lord and about my great need for Jesus as my Savior. I trusted in Christ when I was five years old. I never really doubted my faith, but I also didn’t learn how to walk with the Lord consistently.
“I met my husband, Trey, when we were in college in Wisconsin and knew pretty quickly I wanted to marry him. But the wheels blew off of our lives when I got pregnant. As an athlete at a Christian college, I was asked to leave the school. There are no hard feelings about that at all. There was a rule, and we broke it. Later, Trey went back to school and finished his degree.
“By the time we celebrated our 5th anniversary we had three kids under four years old. Trey got a teaching job in the Dallas area where he grew up. We bought a house, found a church and were expecting our fourth child. He was a teacher. I was a stay-at-home mother, but I did a little work on the side. It was a very busy time.
“For most of my adult life, I studied God’s Word regularly. But as the demands of being a wife and mother increased, I stopped consistently reading the Bible. It wasn’t an intentional choice. Time in God’s Word just fell by the wayside. I did not worry about it really – we were both Christians and our marriage seemed fine, right? But I was not putting on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18), and that opened my mind to the lies of the enemy.
“The relationship with a family friend started pretty innocently. I didn’t intend for it to turn into anything, and he assured me that everything was alright. But eventually that friendship turned into an eight-month affair. “The truth came out one week when the kids were out of town visiting my parents, and we were on a date. It was a ‘Jerry Springer’ moment, and we said words we never wanted to say. It was the worst time of my life.
“I was absolutely convinced Trey would never forgive me. I thought I would leave as soon as I could and sort the rest out later. I was blind, really. I believed so many lies because I wasn’t spending time in the Truth. I’d been so deceitful that I didn’t know how to tell the truth anymore. I couldn’t sleep or even think straight at that point.
“I was still threatening to take off, so the next day Trey took all the keys, phones and electronics out of the house. I was stuck at home all by myself. That day, something prompted me to open the Bible to Psalm 139. In that passage, David cries out for the Lord to search him and lead him in the way of righteousness. That’s when the Holy Spirit broke my heart and helped me see both the weight of my sin and that with God’s help, our marriage could survive.
“Trey came home from work, took one look at me and could tell that God had truly broken me. I felt such incredible pain and guilt. But in the midst of that, the chains of sin were beginning to break.
“Trey and I began the long journey of healing and forgiveness at that point, and it was not easy. But receiving forgiveness from my husband changed my life and my perception of God’s grace. My natural inclination was always to give grace to others, but never receive it myself. I know now that by giving and receiving grace, I discover more about God’s love and mercy for me.
“There was still a lot of healing to be done. But after the initial shock and anger, Trey chose to love me. That was humbling. Together, we met with mentors from the church we once attended, and that was very helpful. But the people we met with encouraged us not to talk with anyone about the affair. We did speak to a handful of people, but otherwise, we hid what had happened. It’s clear to me now that by keeping ourselves isolated, we missed out on the opportunity for more healing and growth. But the Lord continued to work powerfully in our lives and our marriage, and we discovered that greater healing was still to come.”
TREY: “‘I’m gone.’ That’s what my wife said when I discovered she had been in an extramarital relationship for several months,” said Trey O’Neal. “The thought of being a single dad raising children on my own was sobering. I never saw this crisis coming, though I knew something had been wrong in our marriage for a while.
“When we reached out to people from our church for help, one of the first things they recommended was not to discuss the affair with anyone – not our friends or our parents. I did talk to a buddy of mine and some family members about what happened. But for the most part, our troubles remained a secret.
“It was easy to blame my wife for our troubles, but make no mistake, there was plenty of sin on my part. When we were dating, I wasn’t faithful to Shera. When Shera became pregnant while we were in college, I had to end a couple of different relationships before we married. Porn also had been part of my life throughout our marriage. All of that left me feeling horrible about myself and struggling with doubt about my marriage and my faith.
“I was semi-involved in church. I went on Sunday mornings, but I didn’t see the value in it for me. Shera begged me to lead them spiritually, but the truth is, I didn’t really have a relationship with the Lord, so I failed to lead my family.
“I completely neglected my marriage. I wanted to be a good husband and father, but in reality I was the married version of the guy I was back in high school. I didn’t take care of things around the house. I spent time with the kids and left Shera on her own to sort out the finances and how to make ends meet. That left our relationship very vulnerable.
“I knew something was not right in our marriage for months before I found out about the affair. But the news was still a shock – especially since it was a guy I saw as a buddy and mentor. Looking back, none of the qualities I admired in him were biblical. I was looking at him from a worldly standard.
“Although I was hurt and angry, I did not want Shera to leave. While God worked on her heart in the weeks and months ahead, I read a book called Love and Respect. It encouraged me to forgive my wife in the same way I had been forgiven by God. It was not easy. There were times I felt so hurt I thought I would be better off dead.
“The pain got worse, and I felt like I might not ever beat it. My wife begged me to talk to someone about our marriage, but I would have none of it. The Lord was good to me even in my stubbornness and ignorance. He gave me the desire to pray, read His Word, pursue my wife and learn how to forgive.
“We found out about re|engage, Watermark’s marriage ministry, by accident, through a sermon we listened to online. We decided to go check it out at another church near our home. That was really our first exposure to biblical community. It was hard to lay the whole truth about our marriage out on the table. But we did, and found a lot of grace and healing in biblical community with others.
“I went to re|engage to restore my marriage, but God used it to call me back to the fundamentals of following Him. I never took the time to think about the sacrifice Christ made for me to be forgiven until I was asked to forgive my wife. Healing my relationship with Shera had everything to do with my relationship with the Lord. I knew I didn’t want to stay together with Shera simply for the kids. I wanted to learn how to truly forgive. That came as I gained a greater understanding of all Christ had done for me. He had forgiven my past, so I could not argue with the fact that I needed to forgive my wife as well.
“God has worked in our lives through community and through re|engage in amazing ways. But it still has been an emotional roller coaster. I learned that I can never measure the health of our relationship by whether the memories of betrayal still hurt me. We live in a broken world, and that time in our marriage may always be painful. But we continue to find purpose in a daily pursuit of Christ.
“It’s a blessing whenever Shera and I have the chance to talk about the amazing things God has done in our marriage. It reminds me of all the Lord has saved me from and why it’s important to live out His mission in my life. I am far from perfect, and it’s always hard to admit my failures and shortcomings to the people God has put in our life. But I always walk away strengthened, encouraged and grateful that the Lord gives me new opportunities for faithfulness.”
This series contains teachings and testimonies of God's transforming power in marriages at re|engage. re|engage is designed specifically to address needs in marriage by helping couples move towards oneness in their marriage through stories of grace, teaching and small groups. Whether your marriage needs to be reignited, or is in need of a complete resurrection, re|engage is a safe place for couples to reconnect. It is a 16-week experience which includes a time of praise and worship, a teaching or a testimony by a couple who has experienced victory in the midst of hard times, and small group time which follows a specified curriculum. We meet every Wednesday night, 6:30-8:15 p.m. in The Loft (7540 LBJ Freeway @ Park Central, Dallas). Kids Ministry is available with advance registration.
Re|engage is a weekly ministry for married couples to find help, learn, and grow in their marriage through a small-group setting.