In 1 Peter 3, Peter was writing to Christian wives who were married to unbelieving husbands, in a society where it was unacceptable for a wife to have a different faith than her husband. This passage was meant to be empowering to women and “to offer the Christian wife a strategy that would enable her to avoid violence, disarm the opposition of her unbelieving husband, and lead him to Christ” (D. Edmond Hiebert, 1 Peter, p. 194–195). Peter encouraged these women to live with their husbands in a way that showed Jesus (1 Peter 3:1-2), prioritizing what God prizes (1 Peter 3:3-4). When marriage was difficult, they should look to godly role models and put their hope in God (1 Peter 3:5-6).
This passage still matters to us today. It holds the one key to a better marriage today, which is to show Jesus in your marriage. You can show Jesus in your marriage by:
Fulfilling your God-given role.
- Husbands and wives are equal, but have different roles and responsibilities.
- One of the ways that a wife can show Jesus in her marriage is by submitting to her husband (1 Peter 3:1).
- You are not asked to do anything that Christ has not already done, because Christ was also in the position of submitting to leadership (1 Corinthians 11:3).
- Although Christ submitted to the Father, He was still equal to the Father, just as wives and husbands are completely equal in value and dignity.
- To submit to your husband is to recognize, welcome, and respond to his leadership in your marriage.
- One of the ways that a husband can show Jesus in his marriage is by leading (Ephesians 5:23).
- As the leader, you bear the weight of accountability before God for cultivating a marriage and a household that glorifies God.
- Jesus led by laying His life down for us (Ephesians 5:25). Christlike leadership is selfless, sacrificial, safe, and service-oriented.
- Godly husbands cultivate four things: intimacy, obedience, safety, and honor (1 Peter 3:7).
- Intimacy: Husbands are responsible for knowing their wives so that they can live with them in an understanding way. Husbands are responsible for initiating date nights, quality conversations, times of prayer, and physical intimacy. Wives are also free to initiate, but husbands will be held accountable for cultivating intimacy.
- Obedience: Husbands are responsible for cultivating their families’ obedience to God. Husbands are accountable for knowing and understanding God’s Word and His will for marriage and families.
- Safety: Husbands should serve selflessly and not try to bully their wives into submission.
- Honor: Husbands are responsible for showing honor to their wives as co-heirs with Christ.
Cultivating your character.
- Focus on your heart, not your external appearance (1 Peter 3:3-4).
- Have daily, uninterrupted time with God.
- Live in community.
- Seek help for overcoming sin issues.
Hoping in God.
- There will be times when marriage is difficult (1 Peter 3:5-6).
- Your hope for a better marriage is not in your spouse changing. Your hope is found in God sustaining and changing you.
Discussing and Applying the Sermon
- What is one thing that Jesus would do differently in your marriage if He were you? What is stopping you from making that change?
- Wives: how can you recognize, welcome, and respond to your husband’s leadership in your marriage this week?
- Husbands: how can you cultivate intimacy, obedience, safety, and honor in your marriage this week?
- What is one thing you can start doing to better cultivate your character?
Other Mentioned or Recommended Resources
