How to Live With Honor

Carlos: Hey, Porch, join me as we read God's Word together from the book of 2 Timothy, chapter 2, verses 14-26. "Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.

But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, who have swerved from the truth, saying that the resurrection has already happened. They are upsetting the faith of some. But God's firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: 'The Lord knows those who are his,' and, 'Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.'

Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will." Now our third message in this series on 2 Timothy.

Kylen Perry: Hey, it's great to be with you. Thanks so much for making time to be here with us, whether it's this Tuesday or another day that you're tuning in. It is such a joy to be a part of what God is doing…yes, in Dallas, Texas, but really in the lives of young adults here in our city but also in cities like this all over, particularly those of our Porch.Live locations. We are so glad God is working there as he is working here. I'm so eager for where we're going tonight, but I want to start things off with a story like normal.

Before we moved to Dallas, my wife and I lived in Houston, Texas. I was working in a young adult ministry, very similar to this one, in that city. I'll never forget, when we got there, what my "welcome to the city" moment was. You know what I'm talking about? Like, where you realize, "Okay. This is what we're dealing with." It came on the very first night of our ministry that year. It was our kickoff event.

One of my really dear friends had come into town, and he wanted to be a part of the festivities and see me teach. Afterward, we decided, "Let's go get some food. You haven't had dinner. I haven't had dinner. Let's get out of here." So, we did what you normally do. We were unfamiliar with the area. I was new to the territory. It was after 10:00 p.m. So, we pulled up Google and just started looking, like, "What's open right now that is marginally edible?" We found a wing joint that had pretty good reviews, so we left the church and made our way over there.

We show up, and we realize the place is virtually empty. There are only six people in the entire restaurant upon arrival. There are three people, a group, sitting together at the bar. There's one female bartender. She has a friend, a buddy of hers, who is sitting at the bar as well. Then there's one busboy who is doing everything in his power just to hold the entire experience together.

So, we grab a seat and start looking at the menu. We place our order, and right as our food arrives, we notice there is some tension at the bar. Now, we weren't sure what the cause of the debate or argument was, but we began to suspect it was pretty serious when that female bartender reached across the bar, grabbed one of those girls by her hair, dragged her across the bar, and began to lead her toward the door.

Not only that, but as that was happening, one of the guys in that girl's group springs to his feet and pushes her buddy out of his stool, and he falls to the ground. He gets up and starts swinging back at that guy. Meanwhile, the other girl in that group of three is now standing on a tabletop, and she has found a pool cue (I didn't even know they had pool at this place), and she is swinging that thing at this poor busboy who is just trying to calm her down. He didn't do anything wrong.

In that moment, it occurred to me I was in the middle of my first bar fight, which felt really exciting despite the fact that I never threw a punch and I sat 30 yards away. My food showed up right as it was all beginning, so I just decided to finish my meal as we waited for the cops to show up. Yet while this was all happening, this thought occurred to me. I realized you can't control if someone wants to fight, but you can control if you pull them across the bar and throw the first punch.

Why do I tell you that? Because in this world, you may not find yourself in a bar fight, but you're going to find yourself in some kind of fight. This life we live is crazy and chaotic and full of crisis. Though you cannot control when the crisis comes, you can control your composure when it does. Just because someone is looking to pick a fight doesn't mean you have to give them one. Yet what we know, if you pay attention to our society, is we're not that good at avoiding the fray.

You don't believe me? All you have to do is read the reviews on whatever movie is currently in theaters and see people not only spill the spoilers but also spill their hatred for whatever is going on. Pull up X and read live as a show is going or a game is playing. Just read the comments or go and look at the comments people will give on any kind of political post, and what you'll see is that people are so quick to stir the pot, to build up drama, and to pick a fight.

Yet here's the thing. You don't even need to look into the culture. You need only look at yourself and realize we are really bad at keeping our composure. The reason is it's hard to keep your composure when the world we live in does not seem to have any interest in this idea whatsoever. Yet here is the thing. If you're a Christian in the room, you need to listen to me. We are called to do it, nonetheless.

You see, the way the Bible talks about this idea is we are to conduct our lives with honor. That's the word behind our entire message this evening. I want to visit with you about how we live honorable lives in the midst of a dishonoring day. How do you keep your composure when it feels like all there is around you is crisis instead? The apostle Paul, who wrote the letter of 2 Timothy, which we've been working through in this series, is going to broach this subject tonight.

As you get to chapter 2 and start reading at verse 14, which is everything Carlos just read for us, what you find is we've sort of turned the corner into a brand-new section of this letter where Paul is writing to his young protégé Timothy and telling him, "Hey, you have the right attitudes," in light of chapter 1 and the beginning of chapter 2, like we've discussed these past few weeks. Yet now you move from attitudes and into activity. You begin to consider what, then, should be true of your life.

For Timothy, within his specific context, Paul knows he has some trouble on his hands. There are some issues at bay. He has to figure out how to deal with these people who are stirring up drama. They've come into his church and begun to confront his ideas. They've even begun to refute the gospel he is preaching. They're known as false teachers.

So, Paul is writing to Timothy, and he tells him, "Hey, here's how you deal with people who want to pick a fight. Here's how you keep your composure in the face of the crisis they're causing. Here's how you live with honor during a dishonoring day." What he's going to tell Timothy, as well as us, are four principles for doing so in our own lives.

So, we're going to pick it up in verse 14. We're going to work our way through a little bit of Scripture, and then we're going to talk about it, as we always do. Here's what it says. "Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth."

1. Avoid unproductive disagreements. He charges Timothy before God… Some of your translations say he charges Timothy in the presence of God, which is the strongest commissioning Paul gives in any pastoral epistle. It would be the ancient Near Eastern equivalent of your mom calling you by your first, middle, and last name. What does that do? It makes you stand up straight and listen to whatever she's going to say. It calls you to attention, because whatever she's about to say is serious.

Paul is saying the exact same thing. He's demanding the same sort of response from Timothy. He tells him, "Hey, before God, I charge you…" What? What's he charging? "…not to quarrel about words." In the Greek, that idea literally means to not engage in word wars. Don't pick a fight with other people just to prove that you're intellectually superior. Christians, we never do that, do we? We don't do that with one another. We don't do that with the world.

The reality is it doesn't mean we shouldn't disagree with people. It doesn't mean we can't be corrective in conversations, but what it does tell us is that we should be aware if ever we're lobbing verbal bombs and it feels like the conversation has caught fire and nothing is going productively. That tells us we're in the midst of a word war.

As an example, in marriage, often…not always but often…your biggest disagreements come from the smallest of issues. I remember for Brooke and me, it was early in our marriage. The week was long. It was difficult. We were finally at the weekend, so we were like, "You know what? Let's bring it in the right way. Let's prep dinner, and let's grill some steaks and start the weekend on a high note."

Now, unashamedly, steak is my favorite food. I mean, it is by and large Kylen Perry's favorite meal. It is my preference if ever I get to pick. So, we were doing this this night. Now, as any self-respecting person knows, steak is always served with potatoes. Always. That's a nonnegotiable. It is assumed at the very least. Yet, for whatever reason, my wife did not seem to know this. She had not purchased any potatoes to speak of. Instead, she had decided that we would eat corn and salad alongside that steak in the evening.

What ensued from that moment was the equivalent of a word war, because I unpinned a verbal grenade and lobbed it at her. I was like, "Are you crazy? Steak without potatoes? We might as well not even eat." Marriage is so very sanctifying. This is case in point number one. I have since grown so very much, and you would never, never engage in something so seemingly silly as that. Yet often, we do engage.

We fight over something so seemingly serious as whether or not true believers can be tempted with same-sex attraction, whether you're allowed or not allowed to vote Democrat and love Jesus at the same time, whether Charlie Kirk is or isn't actually a Christian martyr, whether you should or shouldn't listen to Chappell Roan if you are a Christian.

Here's the thing. I haven't even stated to you my position on some of these issues, but the mere mention of them has some of you boiling inside, ready to spring into action and present your case. That is evidence of a quarrelsome heart. Now, am I saying that these things are not worthy of talking about? Of course not. That's not what I'm saying in the slightest, but I am saying the way we talk about them matters quite possibly even more.

First Peter 3:15 says, "…but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…" Do you see it? We should always be prepared to make a defense. That's the what. Yet Peter doesn't stop there. He gives you the how. He says you should be prepared to make a defense, but not a destructive one. You should prepare, instead, to make a constructive defense.

It's interesting. In the passage we're looking at, when he says, "Rightly handling the word of truth," the idea there in the original language is that you would cut a straight line. It would be used as characteristic of a carpenter or a seamstress or a master craftsman. It would tell you that they are an expert in their particular trade. They can constructively contribute to whatever their field of expertise is.

For the Christian, what is our field of expertise? It's God's Word. It's not the stock market. It's not how to make the best sourdough. It's not who the studs and duds of week four Fantasy Football are. It's not whether or not you're actually going to be able to shoot a shot at Robert Irwin because you think he's so cute on Dancing with the Stars. None of that is actually your field of expertise. No, our field of expertise is "What does the Word of God say?"

Yet here's the thing. Rather than being an expert in God's Word, too often we are an expert in someone else's words. Culturally, we know better what our favorite teachers think or what our podcaster's position is or what that influencer has to say. We have mastered the opinions of man and not the truth of God.

For Christians, we're not exempt. In fact, we are more guilty, having been raised under generational voices, of adopting what our favorite pastors think about Jesus rather than what we think of Jesus himself. You see, we are willing to live vicariously through the relationship someone else has with Christ when we forego the ability to have that relationship within our own lives.

The truth of the matter is you're not called to be an expert in anybody else's words, nor their opinions; you're meant to be an expert in God's Word. That's why we go deep in this book. All of the questions facing humanity… The answers are right here. That's why we show up and attend a Bible study and surround ourselves with men and women who are older and wiser than we are.

It's why we choose to invest every single day in reading this, because we know in it is all the truth we need for the life we live. It's why we don't just fake it till we make it or act like we have all of the answers. We're willing to look dumb and ask questions, to go to Great Questions and pose some of the things we're really wondering and even worried about, because we want to know what God has to say about these specific issues in our lives.

It's why we're willing to go to a church that teaches the Bible. Listen to me. Some of you need to be willing to leave a church that does not teach the Bible. I'm not telling you to come here, but I'm telling you to go somewhere that rightly reveres the Word of God as the ultimate authority in all matters.

I remember, for myself in college, every night for a season I would sit and read small sections of Scripture, and in order to understand them, I would write them back in my own words. I have journals filled of the "KLP," the "Kylen Levi Perry translation." It gave me a way of trying to really understand, through my own articulation, the very words God had spoken.

Here's the crazy thing: as I did it, the book came alive. It wasn't just that I was reading passages any longer; it's that God was speaking those passages to me. I realized that this book isn't dead; it's living, it's speaking, and it's changing me. It can change you too. We must become an expert in the Word of God. We need to know what we believe, because if we don't, we'll struggle with what Paul says next. Let's keep going. Verse 16:

"But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, who have swerved from the truth, saying that the resurrection has already happened. They are upsetting the faith of some. But God's firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: 'The Lord knows those who are his,' and, 'Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.'"

2. Guard against ungodly influences. He says that these false teachers speak irreverent babble. I don't know about you, but for me, it was a little difficult to understand. What does that actually even mean? So, the way we understand it is taking it word by word and trying to parse through what they are definitionally interpreted as.

If you think about the word irreverent, it means it's disrespectful or inappropriate or improper. It would be going to an interview and wearing swim trunks. There's nothing wrong with an interview, there's nothing wrong with swim trunks, but they are very wrong together. That is an inappropriate sort of situation. That's what it looks like to be irreverent.

That word babble is the idea of nonsense. Our baby boy, Kash, is almost a year old. Within the last few months, he has started babbling quite a lot. While adorable, it is absolute nonsense. He looked at a squirrel today and said, "Dada." It's like, "Dude, that's not your dada. I'm your dada. That is just noise coming out of you. You're not making any kind of sense whatsoever."

Paul is saying there are a lot of people in the world who are making noise, a lot of people in the world who speak nonsense. Timothy, and Christian, do not listen to them. They may sound convincing, but they will not be convicting, because there's not an ounce of truth in the things they say. That's why they're called false teachers.

Here's the thing. They didn't just exist in Timothy's day; they exist, and maybe even in greater degree, within our own right now. This isn't just something we look at in the text and realize it was a problem for them there. No, it's something we look at in our lives and realize it is a problem here now, and it's in greater degree than we likely even suspect.

What you realize is, via social media, people can gather crowds and assemble followers and disseminate whatever they want to teach, whatever dreams they have, whatever thoughts they think, whatever words they've received, whatever signs they can share. That's what happens in social media. The crazy thing about it is people believe them. They believe them because, well, they're not credible, but they're approvable. They're popular. They're trendy and pretty and funny and witty. "I'm going to believe whatever they have to say just because they're charismatic and intelligent."

Believer, we don't do that. We don't just assume someone is speaking truth because they're compelling in the way they speak it. No, we listen to the words of John. First John 4 says, "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world." Do you hear it? We don't trust spirits; we test spirits. We take anything anyone has ever said and compare it against everything God has ever said, and then we evaluate what is and is not true.

The reason we have to be vigilant in this is there are so many people, so many so-called Christians today, who are willing to leverage the things of God for their own personal gain. Some of them are not hard to spot. Christian thirst traps are suspect, man. You shouldn't really listen to those guys. The guy who's like, "The Devil doesn't want you to keep scrolling, so stop…" Don't listen to him. He's suspect as well. Some TikTok prophets… You can look at them and say, "Man, you seem like you are completely off the reservation."

Yet, the truth of the matter is, while there are some who are so obvious, there are some who are not so obvious. Listen to me. I love you enough to say this to you. Your therapist is not Jesus. Can they be helpful? Absolutely. Are they necessary at times in life? One thousand percent. Would it serve you to have one? I know it served me. Yet, the truth of the matter is just because your therapist says it doesn't mean it's right. It isn't confirmed as truth.

I have met young adults who have foregone the biblical counsel of their community and the convictions of God's own Spirit because their therapist disagreed and said differently. Listen. I'm not calling your therapist a false teacher, but if they disagree with him, you disagree with them. There's only one voice of truth, and it is the voice of Jesus.

I'll give you another one. Another good one is your favorite podcaster. They aren't Jesus. Look. I like podcasts. I listen to them myself. Yet, you have to know it doesn't matter how much self-help or personal development they seem to offer, how many experts they bring in and interview, or how much research they try to share. It doesn't matter how convincing they may seem. It doesn't make them right. There has only been one man who has ever been right. He was righteous for the unrighteous, and his name was Jesus. So, if your favorite podcaster disagrees with him, then you disagree with them.

I'll give you one more. This is not a comprehensive list, but I do think these will be helpful because these are prevalent today. Your political party isn't Jesus. It's fascinating. If you track the data that has been coming out and the articles surrounding it all, there is a resurgence of young men coming back to the church. They're actually outpacing young women in their involvement within religious spaces like this.

Yet, according to some publications, one being notably the New York Times, so much of that spiritual resurgence is tied to personal political preference. In contrast, young women who are leaving the church share the same cause. They have personal political preference that is leading them to do that instead.

Now, I'm not saying it's wrong to have political positions. I think you should have some. You should consider God has given three institutions in this world, the church, the family, and the government, so you need to understand what you think when it comes to these areas and issues. What I would say, though, is that your political preference doesn't get to shape your beliefs about Jesus; your beliefs about Jesus get to shape your political preferences. If they disagree with him, you disagree with them.

Now, let me be abundantly clear for the sake of avoiding some emails that may come my way. I am not saying your therapist, your favorite podcaster, or your political party are false teachers, but what I am saying is that wolves still wear sheep's clothing. So, they might sound convincing, but you should not be so easily convinced. Jesus says in Matthew 10:16, "Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." You be on guard, Christian, and hold fast to what's true. Hold fast to him. The next one Paul gives us is in verses 20-22.

"Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."

3. Separate yourself from worldly passions. Now, admittedly, there's a lack of consensus amongst scholars on what Paul means when he uses this analogy of gold and silver vessels versus those vessels of wood and clay instead. Some people look at the analogy and think it's characteristic of believers and nonbelievers, that there are some of noble and ignoble use.

The other side of the fence would say it's not a reference to believer and nonbeliever; it's a reference to different classes of believers, those who are honorable and those who are dishonorable, yet all of them are vessels within the same house, so they are all saved by faith. At the end of the day, it does not matter what your interpretation is, because the takeaway is the same for both. We all want to be vessels of honor. That's the takeaway.

You want to be a vessel of honorable use. Nobody wants to be a dog bowl. Everybody wants to be fine china. Why? Because a dog bowl sits on the ground. It's likely chewed up. You don't wash it off in the sink; you rinse it off with a water hose. But if you think about fine china, fine china is arranged in a cabinet. It's put on display for all to see. It is only ever pulled out for the most distinguished of guests.

Now, is it true that you could use both for the same purpose? I guess. But nobody wants you to do that. Nobody wants you to pull out a dog bowl and serve them dinner in it. Why? Because that is not honorable. That is dishonorable. That is deeply offensive. God is pulling together believers for honorable purpose, for that which is important and special and distinct. Don't you want that to be your story? Then, what you must do is cleanse yourself of what is dishonorable. How do you do that? You do so in two different ways.

Paul tells us, first, you cleanse yourself of what is dishonorable, and secondly, you flee youthful passions and lusts. He says you cleanse yourself of what's dishonorable. I love this. That word cleanse is the same word for catharsis. Most people, when they try to do some catharsis, are trying to engage in activity that changes their mentality. They have some stress or some raw emotions they need to work out.

So, what they'll do is they'll go to the gym, because they know, "I've got to sweat this thing out." Or they're going to pour themselves a bubble bath and a glass of wine, and they're going to lie back and try to unwind in that space. Or they're going to find a friend and emotionally dump on that friend, because they have to vent out their frustrations. Or you'll go for a run and listen to Olivia Rodrigo, or whatever angsty teen music you like, because that's going to help you process everything you're emoting inside.

I don't know what it is for you. The reality is we need to change our thinking. That's what it means to go through a cathartic experience. It's an activity that changes your mentality. Paul is saying to cleanse yourself is to right your mindset. I love the way one pastor said it. He said your mindset is determined by what you set your mind on.

So, let me ask you: What are you setting your mind on? I want to challenge you. Really think about it. Don't just consider, like, "What kind of music do I listen to?" Consider what kinds of lyrics are found within the music you listen to. Would you be comfortable reading those to your mom? How about the shows you watch? Not just, "Well, it's a teenage drama." Consider what the message of that show is. Would you be willing to defend that in front of a room like this right now?

Maybe it's not that. Maybe it's your calendar. Your schedule reflects your priorities. If we looked at yours, would we actually see that the things you claim to care about you back up with a life that cares about them? Maybe it's not that. When you and your friends talk about other people… Because listen; we know you do.

When you and your friends get together and talk about other people, would you be embarrassed to tell the person you're talking about what exactly was said about them? First Corinthians 15:33 says, "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company ruins good morals.'" If you want to change your mindset, you need to change the things you set your mind on.

That's the first thing: cleanse yourself of that which is dishonorable. The second thing Paul says is you need to flee youthful lusts. That word flee is one of my favorite words in Greek because it's the word pheugo, and the idea is it's the same root word behind fugitive. It means to flee or to escape or to run away.

Now, no one has ever met a fugitive who looked at them and said, "I don't know, man. I'm really struggling to get away from the people who are chasing me. It's so hard not to go back." No! They'd be a really bad fugitive if that's the way they reacted. What do they do? They know, "My life depends on me running, getting away, escaping to the hills," so what they do is they run as fast and as far as they can. We should do the same when it comes to sin, because just as their freedom depends on it, your freedom depends on it too.

Here's the thing. As I talk to young adults every single week, right down here at the foot of the stage, I find within people just like yourself that one of two things is often true. First, we're not willing to run fast enough. "Well, Kylen, it's almost the holidays. I know I kind of have a problem with alcohol, but everyone is coming in, and they're going to be opening up the liquor cabinet, and I want to be able to enjoy what everybody is enjoying. It's going to ruin my experience." You're not willing to move fast enough then.

Others of you are like, "Man, I've crossed so many boundaries in my relationship, and he or she is not a believer. We're just toxic together. But they've really shown promise. I think they may actually be able to pull this thing through. You know, we've had some spiritual conversations. That gives me a lot of hope for the future." The reality is you need to break up; you're just not willing to move fast enough.

For others, it's not that you're unwilling to move fast enough; it's that you're not willing to go far enough. You won't actually get a dumb phone, even though that's the quickest way to you getting over your porn addiction. Some of you are unwilling to deactivate your social media, even though you know all it does is breed envy and discontentment in your life.

Others of you won't stop hanging out with those friends, even though cutting them out of your life… Yes, I know that's a biting thing to say. It feels maybe even slightly aggressive from this stage, but cutting them out of your life is actually the best way to preserve your godliness. You're not willing to go far enough.

Now, as I say all this, here's the thing I know. I know it can feel like Christianity is such a drag. It can feel like such a killjoy, like, "Kylen, what are you telling me then? Like, I'm never going to listen to good music again? You're telling me I'm not allowed to have any fun whatsoever, that I have to forego all entertainment for the rest of my days and I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life?" No, I'm not saying that in the slightest.

What I'm saying is that Paul certainly says, "Hey, there are some things you need to flee," but he doesn't stop there. He tells you there are also some things you need to pursue. "…pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." Listen to me. That is way more than some religious rhetoric Paul is throwing at you. That is the promise of a radical reality that comes with Christ.

You pursue righteousness, a guilt-free sort of existence where you never have to fear being found out. Don't you want that? The kind of freedom where you're not worried about, "Man! They're going to hear what I did last weekend or what I have done in the past or what I said to that person." You don't have to live in that kind of fear. You get to have freedom instead because you're righteous.

You get to pursue love. Not a love that's transactional, quid pro quo, this for that, "As long as I do well by you, you'll do well by me." No, it's not a transactional or conditional kind of love. It is a kind of love that is afforded to you whether you do or do not do, whether you do or do not deserve it. You get to pursue faith. This one is so amazing. You don't have to settle for a simple and safe kind of life. Instead, you can dare to dream and live and venture into something that's big and bold and brave and beautiful. Instead, you get to go with God.

You get to pursue peace. In a world that is spinning out of control…it is absolutely chaotic, and everyone is anxious right now…you don't have to be, because you know who is in control. You know God sits on his throne, that he is, in fact, sovereign. He rules and reigns over all things, and nothing happens or does not happen that he does not allow nor speak into. Everything accords with his will and his word. So, you can have peace.

Don't you hear me on this? It's not that you're settling for a lesser life; you are trading in for a better one. The Christian life is not secondary to the secular lifestyle; it's supreme. It's better, and it's time some of you believe it. It's time some of you live it so you might believe it. Last one. Verses 23-26:

"Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will."

4. Focus on the person past the problem. If you look at the context of what Paul is saying here, he's saying we should engage with people, but not people who are easy to love, who have the most chill personality and are so laid-back to spend time with. No, he's saying you should engage with people who stir up ignorant controversies, people who get in your face, who disagree with what you believe, who criticize your own positions. That's why you have to stay focused.

That's why it's important for us to stay focused, because we have to avoid unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. Why do football players get called for being unsportsmanlike? Because they lost their focus. They forgot the greater goal, winning the game, and instead, they only saw red for the guy who got cross with them, the one who offended them, the one they have to get back. That's what happens.

What ends up happening to them is the same thing that happens to us in the Christian life, in the church itself, whenever we see red and choose to retaliate instead of offering grace and moving in for the person instead of the problem. What happens is they get penalized. The same thing happens to us. Your witness gets penalized.

When you respond and are enraged or impatient or angry, or whatever it may be, that doesn't lead people to Christ. No one is strong-armed into salvation. No one is argued into heaven. No one is wrestled into redemption. At the end of the day, conversion does not come through cognition, what you know; it comes through conviction, what you believe.

That's why Romans 1:16 says, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation…" It is the power of God. What? The gospel is the power of God. Not you. You're not the power of God unto salvation. Not The Porch. The Porch is not the power of God unto salvation. Not Watermark, not whatever church you're a part of that you're listening to right now. Nothing else is the power of God unto salvation but the gospel. We have to keep that in focus.

Even though someone may feel so off their rocker…they may feel way past your help, beyond anyone's reach…this tells us, "God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses…" That word is sobriety. They might be sobered and escape the snare of the Devil.

It tells us the same truth Dietrich Bonhoeffer tells us. He's quoted as saying something like, "We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and we must regard them, instead, in light of what they suffer." You see, ultimately, we don't regard people in light of what they say; we regard them in light of what they suffer. They're captive. They're captive to an enemy. They're bound to do his will, yet perhaps God might save them.

That changes everything, because even though it is God who does the work, often he does that work through you, and it's not by way of your impressiveness; it is by way of your graciousness. That's what Paul goes on to say. He says your speech should be characterized by four particular graces.

The first one is it should be kind. Your speech should be kind. That word carries the idea of gentleness, that it is not unnecessarily harsh. Think of it like this. Your words should be like that towel you dry your face with in the morning when you arise and wash. You want it to be soft. You don't want it to be sandpaper. Your words should not be coarse like sandpaper. They should be kind instead. That's what he's getting at.

I know some of you hear that and are like, "Hold on, man. Jesus was corrective. He was coarse at times. He was even harsh in different moments." What you need to know is Jesus never spoke an unkind word to those who did not believe. He was always kind to the unbelieving, and we should be too. Romans 2:4 tells us, "Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?" It's kindness that cultivates the hearts of people to receive the good news.

Secondly, we should speak in a way that is informed. That's what he tells us. The reason is when people come and ask you questions, you want to have a good answer for why you believe what you believe. Previously, in a different ministry, we would gather volunteer candidates, people who wanted to serve alongside us, and we would ask them one of the most important questions within the entire interview process, which was, "Can you share the gospel with us in your own words?"

The reason we would do that wasn't because we didn't think they knew it. We would do that with them because we knew they would need it. Someone is going to hear that you believe in God, you have met Jesus, and they're going to want to understand what, then, the implications of all of that are. Giving responses like, "Well, it's the news of grace" or "God loves you…" That's not sufficient. It's not informed enough.

You need to speak very specifically about what Christ has done, that he has lived the life we could not; that he died the death we all deserve; that he rose forth, beating death by death itself, that any who would place their faith in him would realize they, too, can be saved of their sins, that they can follow him as the Lord of their life. It is imperative that we are an informed people.

Thirdly, Paul says we should be patient. The idea is that we should be able to endure evil. Why does this one matter? Because the world really sucks at this one. The world is not good at patiently enduring one another's evil. Instead, when someone cusses you out, you cuss them back. When someone hits you, you hit them harder. That's the mentality of our world. Yet that is not the case for the Christian. Why? Because that is not the case for our Christ.

We know Jesus endured evil, and he did so not just in his life; he did so in his death, and so patiently, so astoundingly, that after he surrendered his life to God and breathed his last, the centurion who stood there by the side said, "Surely, that man, in the way he has suffered so well, is the Son of God." People will not be convinced by how strong you are; they will be convinced by how well you suffer. You don't need to retaliate to evil; you need to respond with grace. You need to be patient.

Lastly, he says you should be civil. I love this one. Paul tells us at the very end of the letter, for all of you who are kind of uncomfortable in your seat because you want to get up and you want to say something… He's like, "Hey, you need to get up, and you need to say something." There are going to be moments where you need to correct someone's thinking, to challenge their position, to offer a recommendation. There are going to be moments where you do that. Yet listen to me. Though you may disagree with people, you always do so with civility.

We're bad at this right now. We look across our culture, and we see plenty of disagreement, but we see so much indignity. We don't know how to conflict and keep our composure. There's a story that articulates what we should do instead so well. It's about 200 years old. It's a conversation between a guy named Charles Simeon and John Wesley. One was a staunch Calvinist, the other a staunch Arminian.

You don't need to know the distinctions of what those things mean if you've never heard those phrases before. What you need to know is this was essentially a theological turf battle. These guys are doctrinally distinct, to say the least. They are sitting down to have a conversation about their own personal positions, and they know, "This thing is going to come to blows, because we don't believe similarly on some key issues in areas of the faith."

Yet Charles Simeon says this. Speaking to John, he says, "Sir, I understand that you're called an Arminian, and I have been sometimes called a Calvinist; therefore, I suppose we are to draw daggers. But before I consent to begin that combat, with your permission, I'd like to ask a few questions." What proceeds in the dialogue is Charles asking John, "Do you believe that you are lost in the trespasses of your sin and cannot save yourself?"

"Yes, I do believe that."

"Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and has come to save your soul?"

"Yes, I do believe that."

"Do you believe God's grace is a gift which we do not earn and only receive?"

"Yes, I do believe that, Charles."

"Do you believe that your future hope and home is in heaven because he has gone to prepare a place for you?"

"Yes, I believe that as well."

At the end of his inquisition, Charles looks at John and says, "Then, sir, with your leave, I will put up my dagger. If you please, instead of searching out our terms and our phrases to be a ground of contention between us, a cause of conflict, let's instead cordially unite with one another in those things upon which we agree." I love it. Charles articulates for us that disagreement is possible without the indignity of robbing someone of their God-given image.

The reason we know it is because, at one time, all of who God is disagreed with all of who we are. He's holy; we are unholy. He's loving; we are unloving. He is merciful; we are merciless. He is righteous; we are unrighteous. He is good, and we are evil. Yet, though all of who God is disagreed with all of who we are, he nonetheless dignified us by sending Jesus to avoid unproductive disagreements and reconcile disparate parties; to guard against ungodly influences, teaching us that which is true in the face of a world that specializes in what's false.

He separated us from worldly passions, dying our death upon our cross and taking our ungodly and worldly passions with him. He focused on the person past the problem, for he never lost sight of you in his pursuit to save you from that which had condemned you. Don't you see? If you want to live your life with honor, then look to him who died your death with honor. He is the way. He is the truth. He is the life. I'm praying you would know him as such.

God, we're grateful that we have time now, not just to study some Scripture but, God, to hear you speak; not just to sing some songs but, God, to celebrate your glory; not just to feel some conviction but respond to your Spirit speaking. It puts us in a spot right now where, God, we get to engage with you. We get to respond to you. We get to rejoice for the gospel, which has saved those who believe. God, we want to be honorable in the face of a dishonoring day. Jesus, it is in you that we see the example, and we follow here right now. We love you. It is in your name we pray, amen.