Even though I didn’t have a dad present in my life since he died when I was a baby, I didn’t have a sense of abandonment. I was raised in church in a loving home and was baptized when I was 12. Despite all this love, I was led astray by Satan’s lies as I experienced more of what the world had to offer.
In college, I took on a whole lifestyle of sin. It was fun for a little while, but like the Bible warns, sin left me for dead. My choices brought me to a really dark place, specifically in the form of a prescription drug addiction. For years, I was a mess, I was burdened, and I couldn’t keep a job.
My sin was spiraling.
One side effect of my addiction was hyper-fixation, and when I was 29, this manifested in what I thought was an unusual fascination with studying the Bible. Over the next several months, God made himself known to me through a series of serendipitous “coincidences” aligned with things I had seen in Scripture. Even as my addiction amplified, God captured my heart. I realized that my substance abuse could kill me, and I was scared. I called the doctor, told him to stop prescribing me, and ran immediately to the bathroom to pour the rest of my medication down the drain. That was my surrender. I’m now 12 years clean.
I read Bible verses about God’s love, and the story of the lost sheep really resonated with me. In Luke 15:4, a shepherd leaves a flock of 99 sheep to rescue one that was lost. I realized that, in my sin, I was like the lost sheep. When Jesus died and rose again for me, he was like the Good Shepherd who came to rescue me and bring me back home.
God, in his grace, continued to make himself known to me and radically transformed my life. I met my wife, Jessica, a faithful woman who demonstrated a life of abiding with God. I soon began working in ministry and prayed for an opportunity to become a schoolteacher. The very next day, God graciously answered. I’m now in my eleventh year of teaching.
Jessica and I learned about Watermark through a friend who suggested Foundation Groups, Watermark’s newly married community groups, and I heard about Re:generation, Watermark’s recovery ministry. That’s where I’ve seen the most spiritual growth. I realized I needed to stay sober-minded (1 Peter 5:8) and walk in the light because the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin (1 John 1:7), and I couldn’t do it alone.
The fellowship of believers has been instrumental in my life. Our community group supported and encouraged Jessica and me when we navigated a hard season of infertility. After much prayer, Jessica and I took the Foster and Adoption class at Watermark and decided to start fostering. When we were placed on the “open homes” list, our community group came over and prayed with us over the room our foster kid would stay in. That same night, we got a call and welcomed our first child in 2020.
God again made himself known.
However, things became difficult following the pandemic. Jessica had some health issues, and we had to put fostering on hold. I was angry and sought comfort outside of the Lord, but God used these experiences to sharpen me.
I still struggle with anger, control, and comfort-seeking, but I’ve learned through my time leading in Re:gen that there’s something healthy about being in the struggle—a consistent, daily surrender to God. He equips us, gives us his Spirit, gives us a knowledge of Scripture, and sharpens us in areas of obedience that may not come to us as easily. We must rely on God daily.
God has shown himself faithful, even in moments of darkness. During the pandemic, the Lord gave me a passion for unifying the church to fulfill Jesus’s call to make disciples, and I began to research and write. Now, several years later, that passion has persisted, and I’ve continued writing through seasons of fostering kids and caring for aging parents. As I approach the finish line, I am astounded at how so many Christians share the same essential beliefs surrounding the good news of God’s grace through Jesus—grace we cannot earn, but a grace freely given by his act of love on the cross and resurrection.
In the monotony of everyday life, it’s easy to miss the big idea of why God has us here. The whole Church has a mission to push back the darkness of the world with the light of Christ, and we must work together. God has saved us and called us to a people and a purpose bigger than ourselves.