Trusting His Provision

Trusting His Provision Hero Image Trusting His Provision Hero Image

“In college and early adulthood, I wasn’t walking with Jesus. At the time I would’ve said, ‘Yes, I’m a Christian and I believe in Jesus.’ I believed in God and that He loved me from a very early age, but I don’t think I really had a true relationship with Him until I was in my thirties,” said Britt Guild.

“As I got older, things felt like they were falling apart. I felt completely alone. I went through my twenties watching friend after friend get married, and I felt like the forgotten one. My singleness felt like a punishment, and I didn’t understand why that was part of my story. I used to pray, ‘God please take this desire to be in a relationship away if You’re not going to give it to me.’

“On top of feeling so low about my singleness, I was also unemployed, unsure of the future of my career, and at a point where money was running out. I was at a crossroads with some less-than-desirable options for what to do next.

“At the time, church and religion felt so pointless to me. I thought it was just me and Jesus and that I didn’t need anything else. I think the devil used that to isolate me even more. I used ‘me and Jesus’ as a crutch to avoid engaging in community.

“My trust in the Lord and in His plan for my life came after a dream I had. I know it sounds silly, but the dream was a way I was reminded to trust the Lord. In my dream, I was sitting on a balcony that was covered with ducks. I heard a voice saying, ‘Pick up a duck and toss it.’ I knew if I tossed the duck, it would fall off the balcony. The voice in the dream said, ‘Trust me. I designed the duck to flap its wings and fly if it has to.’ So, I tossed the duck, and it landed perfectly on the ground. Then the voice said, ‘Toss them all. Toss your ducks. I won’t let them fall.’ I started picking up ducks one-by-one and heaving them off the balcony.

“When I woke up, I saw the dream as a clear illustration of my relationship with God. I needed to ‘toss my ducks’: my career, my singleness, and my life. I needed to trust God with all of it. I might freak out when things don’t go my way, but God’s got me (Joshua 1:9). He has designed me to trust in Him and fall gently to the ground.

“That was a turning point for me. My relationship with God really started to grow after I said, ‘Okay God, I trust you.’ I’ve seen over and over in my life how God’s provision is almost never what you think it’s going to be.

“Within a few months, I reconnected with Rob, a family friend who I’d known for years. He had a great relationship with my family and joined us for dinner one evening. I still thought at this point that dating and marriage weren’t ‘in the cards’ for me, but we had a great time catching up, and, after dinner, he asked for my number.

“Then, things moved pretty fast. It was easy to date, because we’d known each other for so long. I knew I had to trust the Lord with our relationship, marriage, and everything that would come with that, including Rob’s two kids from his previous marriage. For the longest time, I didn’t want kids. So, I prayed that if this were to move forward, the Lord would help me be a mother.

“Getting involved with the blended family ministry at Watermark, participating in Moneywise, and joining a community group were all game changers for our family. If I’m being honest, my husband practically had to drag me into community group. It was a very big commitment, and it was very uncomfortable for me to be authentic at first.

“With God and the help of other believers, we learned that just because something is painful doesn’t mean it’s not good for you (Hebrews 12:11). It is painful to look at your own habits and know that you’ve created a disaster – for us, it was financially. It’s also painful to try to undo it. When you are transparent about your past (and current) missteps and sin, it is very humbling.

“But there is a lightness and relief of being fully known and still fully loved by people who have pledged to be in this community together and have forged relationships over years. We’ve had to work through conflict and disagreements. I came in kicking and screaming, but now I see how beneficial a biblical community is for me and my relationship with Christ.

“Trusting God and His provision and surrendering to His faithfulness has pulled us through so much. We have come up against so many situations where we had no idea how it was going to work out, but it always does. Even in the context of Rob’s divorce and our marriage, God took our mess and perfected it. He redeems everything. God took both of our seemingly hopeless stories and mushed them together to make one good thing.”