“I grew up in a loving Christian family, and I was saved when I was six. My early years were steady and uneventful. But around age eleven, I was exposed to pornography, and that’s where my addiction quietly began.
“As I got older, life at home grew tense. When my parents split, we also left the church I grew up in. It was a very traditional environment, but faith wasn’t something you lived out; it was something you talked about on Sundays. The new church my mom and I joined was different. It pushed us to live on mission, to share the gospel, to really follow Jesus.
“On a retreat with that church, I confessed my addiction for the first time. It felt freeing to finally say it out loud. But later, one of the guys brought it up in front of everyone to ‘hold me accountable,’ and I was mortified. I shut down. I decided it was safer to hide.
“After high school, I went to UTD for a year and dropped out. I was trying to work in IT and chasing whatever temporary pleasure I could find. I knew God had plans for me, but I felt stuck.
“For whatever reason, God used a short dating relationship to break me. I felt him saying, ‘Stop chasing other things. Seek me instead.’
“That’s when something changed. I stopped telling myself I should read my Bible and actually started reading it. I read Scripture cover to cover in five months. It lit something inside me. For the first time, I was meeting with God.
“I started leading a small group at my church, trying to share what God was teaching me. It was a coed group, and while others were honest about their struggles, I was still hiding mine—believing the lie that honesty would only lead to rejection.
“A few years later, I started visiting Watermark. One Sunday, I saw a slide on the screen for Re:generation, Watermark’s biblical recovery ministry. It caught my attention, but the meetings were on Monday nights—and I worked late shifts on Mondays. So I prayed, asking God for a new job that would let me go, and if possible, without a pay cut.
“To my surprise, he gave me a new job that paid even better. However, the day I planned to start Re:gen, and after nearly a month of staying clean, I gave in to temptation again.
“It crushed me. I was angry at myself and ashamed, but I also knew it was exactly the humility God wanted from me. That night, even though I didn’t want to go, I showed up to Re:generation.
“When I reached Step Six of Re:gen, Repent, it hit me how much I was still holding back. I decided I had to look at what I was willing to give up to find freedom from this sin struggle. My background in cybersecurity made it easy to get around accountability software, so repentance for me meant giving up control entirely. I put blockers on my phone and laptop, even if I could bypass them. I unplugged my TV. I started working from the Watermark Coffee Shop instead of at home, so temptation wouldn’t be an option. Eventually, I even gave up my fancy apartment and moved in with my best friend for accountability.
“Even in this season, there was a night when the temptation felt unbearable. God held me. He met me in that weakness, and it became the start of real change.
“It wasn’t instant, and it wasn’t perfect. I still had setbacks. I was even serving in Re:generation while confessing that I was still struggling. I wanted to make sure people knew I wasn’t some guy who had it all figured out.
“When I got married, I gave into temptation again shortly after our wedding. Confessing to my wife was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. She met me with grace. I didn’t realize until later that in her own Re:gen journey, her homework that very week was on forgiveness. God has a way of bringing grace exactly when we need it.
“Now, I still serve in Re:generation, and I tell men in Groundwork that freedom isn’t a quick fix. It’s hard work, accountability, and dependence on the Holy Spirit. Freedom comes from surrender.
“For me, it took years of hiding, failing, and trying to fix myself before I realized I never could. God used every setback, every confession, and every moment of exhaustion to show me what real dependence looks like.
“I’m grateful for the men who walked with me, for a wife who showed me grace, for a church that gave me space to be honest, and for a God who never left. What I used to hide in shame, he’s turned into a story of his mercy.”
Every week, people are finding freedom in Christ by walking the steps of recovery at Re:generation. No matter what sin has you feeling stuck, change is possible. Join us any Monday night at 6:30 PM. Learn more.