“At times, I’ve struggled thinking that my story feels inadequate or less than because I don’t have a crazy testimony.
“My dad has been a pastor since I was three or four, and so knowing and loving Jesus was just a part of my childhood. My parents are strong Christians, and I came to know the Lord through a backyard vacation Bible school at seven years old. I realized that I was a sinner and that I was not going to get into heaven because of my parents’ faith but my own. At seven, you only understand so much.
“Over time, that awareness and knowledge of my need for grace has grown. It’s been a slow sanctification as my relationship with Jesus has matured. Over the course of my life, I have come to love Him more, and my desire to be more like Him has grown.
“I have struggled feeling like ‘oh, I’m not that bad’ or ‘things could be worse,’ but only because I was growing complacent in my need for grace.
“I have wrestled with feeling the need to be perfect and to have a certain image so that I could uphold a standard. However, over the years, the Lord has faithfully reminded me time and time again that His perfect holiness is the standard and that any sin is enough on its own to keep me from God. Even being ‘pretty good’ is enough to prevent me from spending eternity with Him. I’m so thankful for the truth of 1 John 1:9, which says, ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’
“Even in my relationship with the Lord, I thought it had to look a very specific way. I thought that my quiet times had to be a certain way and my serving had to be at a specific cadence. But especially now, in my season of motherhood, it doesn’t always look one certain way. Sometimes my time in the Word is spent teaching my kids Scripture. Sometimes, I’m just trying to read the Bible with the two of them in my lap. I’ve learned it doesn’t have to be perfect.
“I’m about to have my third child, and I don’t expect I’m going to have any more time. But I have peace in knowing that God meets me where I am. I’m learning to dwell on the Scripture that I’ve learned over the last 29 years of my life and trusting God to carry me through this season.
“This strong foundation and dependence on the Lord has prepared and comforted me and my husband when we’ve had to face more challenges as parents.
“Our second son, August, had respiratory issues as a tiny infant, and we found ourselves in the ER multiple times with him throughout his first year. Right after he turned a year old, he ended up in the pediatric ICU with respiratory failure. It was awful and so scary.
“Eventually, August was diagnosed with severe asthma and other respiratory issues. Throughout the course of our marriage and parenthood, my husband and I have faced challenges, but this trial was new territory for us. We had to learn a new depth of dependence on the Lord as He asked us to trust Him with our son’s health. That trust has not always come easily, and we have spent time questioning why the Lord hasn’t fully healed August yet. However, as we’re walking through this, we are able to see that He has been taking care of us long before we ever faced this difficulty. My husband and I have always prayed that the Lord would provide for us in a way that only He could take credit for, and in His kindness, He has done just that.
“Even the location of our house is a provision from the Lord! When we moved into our house before August was born, we didn’t realize we were thirty seconds from an emergency room – a provision that would help us throughout August’s health issues. It felt obvious that the Lord knew what was ahead for us, and He prepared for us so that we would be taken care of. August still isn’t fully healed, but we’ve had a few months now where he has not been in the ER, and we can celebrate that!
“It’s all grown my dependence on the Lord. Now, we’re just working through that, preparing for a third baby and trusting the Lord. I can’t expect the Lord to take away the hardships, but I am so thankful He goes before me in it all.
“As my husband and I raise our kids, our daily prayer is that they would come to know the Lord at an early age. We pray that their days without Jesus and without the awareness of His grace would be few. If our prayers for this are answered, then our kids may have a similar testimony to mine. My hope is that they always know and recognize their need for a Savior, even if their stories ‘aren’t that bad.’”
Editor’s note: On September 3, Jordan and her husband, Josiah, welcomed a baby girl named Hazel. Her brothers love their little sister. Pray with us for this new baby in our church family to learn about and trust in the Lord early in her life. Welcome, Hazel!