“Growing up, my vision of Christianity was blurred at best. My parents had me when they were still teenagers, and my home was very broken, chaotic, and abusive. I didn’t have the chance to grow roots I should’ve had when I was young, so I had a very distorted view of love.
“I spent a lot of middle school, high school, and college trying to overcompensate for my childhood. I chased success, found my worth in what people had to say about me, and sought validation from family, friends, and specifically boys, desperately digging to find something or someone to fill those voids of love I didn’t have when I was younger.
“The one person who showed me what love really looked like was my dad’s mom, Mimi. She was my person and my rock. I thought she was crazy because she loved the Lord and shared the gospel with me constantly, but in hindsight, I know I was so drawn to her because she showed me the love of Jesus.
“I remember first hearing an official gospel presentation at camp in high school. It made me really emotional, but I didn’t truly grasp it until a discipleship program in college. There, as we were learning how to articulate the gospel to other people, I saw the truth of Jesus in a way I understood for the first time through the Three Circles illustration: this world is broken and we can’t escape it on our own, so God sent his Son Jesus from heaven to rescue us from it by his death and resurrection into a new world and a relationship with him. As I studied the Gospels and heard more about Jesus, it clicked: Jesus didn’t just die for everyone—he died for me.
“My life changed almost immediately, and the closer I got to the Lord, the heavier the weight of my sin felt. Many of the sinful desires that had a grip on me—like alcohol, sexual sin, and anger—seemed to vanish, which can only be explained by God’s grace. Battling temptation, on the other hand, was a slow burn. I wanted to be sure my life looked different because my heart was changing, not because I needed to do certain things. I cried out to the Lord, ‘I’m right here—grab me! I don’t know what this looks like, and I need help!’ In this, I clung to Romans 10:9, which helped me see that I didn’t need to have everything sorted out; I just needed to be faithful.
“God blessed me with a lot of community in college and post-grad when I moved to Dallas, and my faith was at an all-time high. But just five months after graduation, Mimi passed away suddenly, and my world turned upside down. Losing her put a huge question in my mind about God and his character. I didn’t know why God, who was so good, would let something so bad happen to me, but I trusted that it would somehow bring me closer to Jesus.
“Looking back, God’s hand of protection and provision was so evident. I was very blessed to have friends who quickly jumped into my grief, bore my burdens, and walked with me as Christ does. I didn’t always know how to talk to God, so I would just sit with my Bible, and God comforted me by showing me that a lot of psalms of lament end in praise. I knew God would use this for his glory and my good.
“I began serving with GriefShare shortly after I completed the curriculum myself. I am so encouraged to live out 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, which says God comforts us so that we can comfort others. I don’t have everything figured out in my grief, but I have witnessed the Lord’s kindness, compassion, comfort, and care for his children, and I am humbled to share that hope with others.
“Even though I’m walking through something seemingly insufferable, I can trust the Lord is good and that he sees me and loves me more than anyone else in this world ever could. That doesn’t mean it’s not hard. It means he has more in store. Even though this world is so broken by sin, there is no greater love than that of Jesus. He is a comforter, he is a friend, and he is so, so good.”