Due to the themes and content of Catherine’s story, we recommend adults read first before sharing with younger readers.
“By the time I was 15 years old, I had experienced my parents’ multiple divorces and witnessed my family’s struggles with alcohol, drug, and sex addictions. I moved schools nine times in five cities and was left to live with other family members. Situations were inappropriate, unsafe, and abusive. The instability and inconsistency caused me to withdraw into myself, fearful of trusting anyone, and I attempted suicide.
“I was kicked out of our house before turning 16, and this convinced me that I wasn’t loved, cared about, or wanted. I was on the streets for a couple of days until a friendly lady approached me, offering to help. I was so relieved.
“She took me to a house with other people and gave me food and clothes, and said she knew of a job that I would be perfect for. A few days later, dressed in nice clothes and high heels, a man drove me to my first modeling assignment. I walked through a door only to discover it was not modeling. It was sex trafficking. I left violated and traumatized, with deep shame and disgust that I wouldn’t be able to shake for decades settled in. I started smoking pot, tried street drugs, and eventually became addicted to cocaine and later to meth. No amount of drugs helped me forget the experiences or numb the physical, mental, and emotional pain. From 15 to 18, I lived this life, believing every day that I was shameful, unloved, unlovable, unacceptable, and not worthy of being saved. In the end, I was held captive for several weeks, and after a near-death experience at the hands of my captors, God literally opened the door one morning and saved me.
“After reuniting with my family, no one ever spoke of my absence. And I didn’t really want to be asked. I forced myself not to think about the horrors I had experienced.
“Several years later, I married and had two children, then divorced after seven years. As a single mom for 20 years, I loved, enjoyed, and cared for my girls, determined they would have the stability and love I didn't. I thought if I tried hard enough, we would be okay. I went to church consistently but only knew Jesus in concept.
“In 2014, the Holy Spirit started working in me and placed on my heart a strong desire to forgive everyone who had betrayed and hurt me. For most of my life, I felt that I was owed huge apologies from those I loved and trusted most. But now, my thoughts obsessed over forgiveness every day. I ached for love to replace all of the hurt.
“Jesus started showing me glimpses of the wounds from my childhood and teen years that I had trained myself not to think about. I thought the past was the past, and I had closed the door decades earlier to have a better life. But that's not how it works.
“A counselor walked me through writing letters to each person in my life. As I went through this process, I cried every day for months, sobbing and praying morning and night. I was laid open before Jesus. He took my hand and was with me while I cried through each crushing experience. I acknowledged what was done to me and what I had done, and he held me tight, soothing me with his love and compassion. He carefully and lovingly exposed and removed the poison I had carried for so long. My immense grief, anger, bitterness, guilt, shame, humiliation, regret, disappointment, and anguish melted away as I trusted him.
“I could literally feel the burdens lifting off me, and I felt lighter and more connected to God with each passing day. As this continued, the Holy Spirit revealed God's perspective on my parents, family, and perpetrators.
“He corrected my beliefs that I was unloved, unlovable, shameful, unacceptable, not enough, worthless, and didn’t matter. God's infinite, indescribable love moved in on me, enveloping and filling every cell of my being. With that, everything changed.
“I finally knew in my heart that I was loved and how much I was loved. That I am his daughter, his precious treasure with immeasurable value. Jesus came for me. He died for me so that I could be healed and whole. At every turn, I was met with only love, grace, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and mercy. This is what God wants each of us to know about him and receive from him.
“Since 2022, I have served with Reclaimed, Watermark’s anti-sex trafficking ministry. After attending my first Reclaimed Roots Study, I cried all the way home because I was deeply moved to learn about the enormity of the industry and the risk factors and to meet everyone in this ministry who has such love, passion, tenacity, and strength from the Lord to mobilize and help. It is amazing how the Lord delivered me from this life, took me through profound healing, and chose to use me in the same place decades later.”
On May 2 and 3, Reclaimed is hosting a two-day study about sex trafficking’s root causes, what it looks like around the world and in Dallas, and ways you can deploy your specific gifts in the fight for freedom. Learn more.