“It was not my choice to have cancer, but I can choose to let God be God in my life. I know that God is not finished with me yet, and He still has a purpose for me. Look at me! This is what standing in God’s grace looks like.” – Deb Frazier
“God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah.” (Psalm 46:1-3)
“I’ve never been more dependent than I am now that I have cancer,” said Deb Frazier. “I have always appreciated prayer, but now I depend on it to walk through each day. I have always loved God, but now I depend on Him to sustain my life and encourage me. I have always been thankful that the blood of Christ was shed for me so that I can spend eternity with God in Heaven. But that shed blood is especially meaningful to me now because I cannot take a step without someone else’s blood running through my body. That’s because I have leukemia.
“All the busyness of my life stopped the day I found out I had cancer. It stopped for my husband, Dan, as well. Now Dan takes care of me every day. He drives me everywhere, organizes my meds, talks to the doctors for me, always spends nights with me in the hospital, and comforts me when I have pain. We met after my first year at Moody Bible Institute. After three weeks of getting to know each other, I was in love. We married when we were 20 years old, so you can see we’ve been together for a long time now.
“Both of us love the Lord, and we’ve always served God together in ministries of all kinds. That desire to serve in ministry is what drew Dan and me to come to Watermark a few years ago. I felt like God was calling us here, but I wondered what He was doing because we seemed so out of place. Everyone else was so young! Despite all that, we got to work right away in the Plano Children’s Ministry. I also got involved with the Watermark Women’s Bible Study. I even had the opportunity to teach there! I began to see my purpose, and God blessed us in so many ways.
“Before my diagnosis of leukemia, God used two things to prepare my heart. The Lord allowed us to walk alongside a dear friend who was fighting the same disease. Our friend was given six months to live, and I saw him become a different person because of it. We were there every time he was in the hospital, and I watched him and his wife trust that God was in control.
“The second thing that God used was His Word. Through Women’s Bible study, I studied the Bible and was reminded of verses that I had memorized as a kid. Proverbs 3:5-6, ‘trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding,’ inspired me week after week. The Lord provided several opportunities to talk to women about trusting Him through fear and uncertainty. Learning that Truth and sharing it with others allowed me to rely on God’s Word when the time came.
“When I heard the word leukemia, I thought about the people I love who have not trusted Christ. I wanted to serve them on this earth just a little longer! I continue to have good days and bad days with this illness, and every day I have the opportunity to live out my faith in front of my family, friends and anyone I speak to.
“God has used this sickness in so many ways. I remember one of my darkest days when I was in the hospital, I felt so old and tired. I wondered if God didn’t have a place for me anymore. That day, our friends Jim Wimberley and John Elmore, who are on staff at Watermark, asked if Dan could meet with them. They told us about a ministry idea, now called Refuge, which would serve both the chronically ill and caregivers. He asked if we’d be willing to serve on the leadership team and help the church launch this ministry.
“That was so like our good God to connect us with Refuge on a day when I felt at my lowest. God showed me that even in my weakness, He could use our story and our journey to reach others. Through serving in Refuge, the Lord has moved me out of thinking about myself and my illness and allowed me to serve others.
“Refuge is a safe place where both caregivers and people who are chronically ill can find community and the hope of Christ in a comfortable, safe setting. Each week, either a caregiver or someone struggling with illness shares their story, and then there is a time for small group discussion and prayer. Illness and caregiving are both very isolating, and our Refuge team wants to do something about that.
“Although my illness is difficult and does not seem to be getting better, I am not pacing the floor at night wondering what will happen to me. I don’t believe this illness is an accident, or that it was caused by some terrible sin. I live in a sin-cursed world, but I serve a Savior who has overcome it. It was not my choice to have cancer, but I can choose to let God be God in my life. I know that God is not finished with me yet, and He still has a purpose for me. Look at me! This is what standing in God’s grace looks like.”