“Though I was young, I understood what it meant to accept Christ into my heart through my family and our church. I accepted Him as my Savior when I was ten. I remember being a very happy kid. I was spunky, loving, and truly had the joy of the Holy Spirit in my heart. I was friends with anyone, and I had a heart for helping others.
“The joy I felt as a kid slowly started to fade as my teenage heart was hardened by the brokenness of the world. When I was 16, my parents divorced. This was a really hard time in my life, and I felt very alone. I clung to my high school best friend for comfort and reassurance, starting an unhealthy pattern of codependency.
“I also sought physical comfort from guys. I was constantly hopping in and out of relationships and pushing physical boundaries. I was sneaking out, lying to my parents, and putting myself in dangerous situations to meet up with guys. An introduction to pornography turned into an addiction that would last for ten years.
“I hardly ever turned to God in my lowest moments. I was afraid of Him and thought He was disappointed in my actions. I still prayed at night, but I used God like a vending machine, only coming to Him when I needed something. I continued living a reckless lifestyle of partying and crossing sexual boundaries with men throughout my college years.
“When I began my career at my dream job on a morning radio show, I quickly found my worth in my job and my social status. I craved affirmation and acceptance, so I looked to my career, listeners, and social media followers to fluff my ego.
“During this time, I watched a complete transformation in my best friend when she completed re:generation, Watermark’s biblical recovery ministry. She was so full of joy and excited about the Lord. She told me she thought it’d be good for me, but I gave her a swift ‘no thanks,’ and we didn’t talk about it again.
“I continued in my sin. I was constantly turning to the world to bring me comfort and reassurance in my insecurities. Exhausted from feeling constant anger and jealousy in my life, I decided to finally attend re:gen.
“I walked into the doors on the first night and sat in the very back and cried. I wanted to be healed. I wanted to feel loved and cared for.
“Through re:generation, God kindly exposed my deepest insecurities and hurts. I recognized patterns of pride, codependency, and jealousy that led to an unhealthy habit of self-protection through isolation and suppressing my feelings. As time continued, I felt God healing me and changing my heart. However, I was still secretly struggling with sexual sin, too embarrassed to share with my group.
“A month later, with a greater desire to learn more about God’s Word, I vowed to the Lord that I would start to walk in total obedience to Him. This obedience led me to reach out to my re:gen leader and confess my hidden sin patterns. She prayed over me and pointed me to Scripture. Confessing was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I remembered to put all of my trust in the Lord to deliver me from this unhealthy habit (1 Corinthians 10:3).
“God broke me of my chains, and I’m happy to say that God has freed me from my addiction. I knew there was joy in walking in obedience to the Lord, but I had no idea the plan God had for me. I had no idea that the girl sitting in the back of the auditorium crying during her first night of re:gen would be broken from the chains of sin a year later and help lead a group of women on their own journey through re:generation.
“I continue to walk in obedience with God, and while it can be very challenging, the trust I have in Him is stronger than it’s ever been. One of the sweetest things to come out of re:gen has been new friendships. I’ve been blessed with some amazing, life-giving, God-fearing women in my life who continuously pour into me biblically and remind me of my worth in Christ.
“I finally feel like I’m back to the happy, spunky ten-year-old kid when I first gave my life to Christ. He has restored my soul and given me joy that nothing in this world can bring me. Temptations are still present, and I continue to face challenges of people-pleasing and codependency, but I keep confessing at the thought-level and the Lord provides me what I need for that day. Following Jesus is not a walk in the park, and Jesus said in John 16:33, ‘In this world you will have tribulation. But take heart for I have overcome the world.’
My name is Cami, I have a new life in Christ, and I’m recovering from pride, lust, fear of man, and codependency.”