The Peace of God

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“I trusted in Christ as my Savior when I was seven, but it wasn’t until later that I started to understand what a personal relationship with Jesus looked like. While I knew God loved me and that I was saved by grace through faith, I wrongfully felt like I had to do the right things for God to keep loving me. I felt insecure, worrisome, and doubtful in my relationship with the Lord.

“People started labeling me as the ‘good girl,’ and I took pride in that, but it only fed the desire to earn God’s love and approval. I became quick to point out the sin I saw in other people rather than looking inward at my own sin.

“I was spending time in God’s Word and in prayer one day, and it became clear just how self-righteous and prideful I had become. But His kindness led me to repentance (Romans 2:4). The Lord reminded me that there is no one who is righteous, ‘For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’ (Romans 3:23). I was reminded that I am broken and in desperate need of a Savior, just like everyone else. No matter how hard I tried to earn God’s love and approval, Ephesians 2:8-9 showed me that the salvation I received by grace through faith is not my own doing. It is a gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Jesus is the one who found me, called me, and grafted me into His family. Clinging to these truths gave me rest.

“My affections have always been stirred for the Lord through music. At a very young age, I started singing, and I would write songs for Jesus. It was a special way I found that I could meet with Him. When I started leading worship at 16, I got to watch the Lord be so faithful as He gave me opportunities to walk alongside others who showed me what it really meant to be a worship leader, and I eventually went on to major in worship leadership in college.

“Two weeks into my freshman year, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic cancer. It was devastating. I remember weeping beside my dad on the hospital bed and my mind racing with so many questions, ‘Do I really believe what I say I believe about Jesus? Do I really believe that He is for me and my family? Do I really believe He can be trusted?’

“The Lord showed me that His goodness is not dependent on my circumstances. Hebrews 13:8 says that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I was reminded that my circumstances, no matter how hard or painful they may be, don’t change that God is good and He is sovereign over all. He is worthy of our praise and worship even in the midst of hardship.

“In that season, I experienced the peace of God that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). I held tightly to God’s Word and His promises, and my faith and trust in Him began to grow even more.

“I went on to attend the Watermark Institute as a resident on the Worship Team where the Lord continued to show me my desperate need for Him. I learned that it was a good thing to be dependent on Jesus, because apart from Him, I can do nothing (John 15:5). I wasn’t sure what He had next for me, but I continued to pray for Him to make it clear.

“And that’s how I ended up in South Dallas! I’m a member of Watermark South Dallas, and I have the honor of serving on the Worship Team alongside my husband, Bo, who plays the drums. There is something so special about worshipping corporately alongside brothers and sisters in Christ. And our worship should not stop there! I believe that we can worship the Lord in our day-to-day lives, seeking to honor Him in all that we do. It has been such a blessing to be a part of what God is doing at Watermark South Dallas, and I am so grateful that He has led me to serve His Church through worship and music. May He receive all the glory!

“I used to think I had to strive to get to a place where I didn’t need God as much, but that isn’t the purpose of a relationship with the Lord. I have experienced the Lord as He’s met me in places of desperation, and that is the sweetest part of my relationship with Him. He meets me where I am.”