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Our Spouse, A Suitable Helper

Have you ever heard the joke about when God was making Eve and the dialogue that occurred between Adam and Him?

On the day that God created Eve for Adam, God said, “Adam, I am going to make you a wonderful mate. She will be amazing. She will fulfill your every fantasy as your lover and be your biggest encourager. She will cook, clean and care for you. She will think you hung the moon and believe that you are the most amazing man and she will laugh at your every joke.” “Wow, she sounds amazing!”, Adam exclaimed but then paused and asked God, “But how much will it cost me?” God quickly answers Adam, “Oh, it’s going to cost arm and a leg!”Adam settles back and ponders this, then comes back to God with a compromising tone, “Well what can I get for a rib?”

I never said the joke was biblical or helpful for keeping marital peace. And men, I wouldn’t recommend repeating it.

But in the midst of a big fight or when you feel completely misunderstood by your spouse, do you ever wonder if you married the right person or if your spouse was even suitable for you?

Let me put your mind at ease. God always knows what he is doing and has a plan for us. Second, he knew exactly what he was doing when he put you two together. As a matter of fact, let me direct you to Genesis chapter 2:18-20. Before there was any sin or conflict and in the midst of making all good things, God states this, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.”

In the Garden with all of God’s creatures and creation, no suitable helper was found for Adam. Things were really good but something was still missing.

Think of a puzzle of a beautiful landscape that isn’t quite complete. You can almost see the full scene except there is one small missing piece. It is almost complete but still not complete and therefore the viewer can’t enjoy the fullness and beauty of the picture that it is supposed to represent.

When God created Eve he was completing the puzzle and was giving Adam the thing he didn’t even know he was missing.

Adam may not have known what he was missing but God did and I believe God deliberately and purposefully preserved the words in verse 18 for every married person to remember every day after we say “I do”.

Here are those words...“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

In all of creation, nothing was yet made that would suffice for Adam so God did something extraordinary. He made the perfect companion for Him, he made Eve, the suitable helper for Adam.

Our version of the word “suitable” implies “good enough” but the Hebrew origins are very different. They are derived from the words that mean she was the person that God chose and created just for him as a helper in the greatest sense. The word also means she was a perfect fit “according to the opposite of him”. Eve would bring about the completeness of Adam.

We see in the next verses that God creates her out of Adam’s flesh and Adam would recognize the importance of this and give himself completely to her. This gave men in generations to come, an example of how we should value our “Eve” - by leaving all that we know, even our homes and parents, so that we can be completely one with our wives.

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”

This should remind and encourage each married person that from the moment we say “I do”, God intends for us to give ourselves completely to our spouse. Even if things aren’t going well He can redeem anything. God knows what we need and gives us exactly the spouse that will refine and grow us to be the greatest Christ follower we can be.


In what ways are you holding back from giving “all of yourself” to your spouse? Even if things aren’t going well He can redeem anything. Is there something about your marriage that you would like God to make new or strengthen? God knows what we need and gives us exactly the spouse that will refine and grow us to be the greatest Christ follower we can be. In what way do you see God using your spouse to grow you right now?

About the Author:

My name is Johnny Hawkins and my wife’s name is Jennifer. We have 5 kids; Hayden (22), Haley (19), Ellie (14), JohnScott (12) and Cambelle (10), oh and Golden Doodle named Hudson (6). I was born in Corpus Christi, TX but since my dad worked for Mobil Oil, we moved all around Texas. I love creating. Especially finding stuff that people are going to throw out and making something out of it that is useful or just enjoying something for its nostalgic value. It reminds me of the Gospel - what was intended for the trash heap, God made useful and even better!