​My Adoption Story Taught Me Selfless Love

She was only fifteen when she learned that she was pregnant. Despite her parents’ warnings, she pursued a relationship with a college aged-man in secret. He wanted nothing to do with their child. A court order would have granted her the right to an abortion without her parents’ consent or knowledge, erasing the tangible evidence of her hidden past. Thankfully, she chose to own her choices, and the life that was growing inside her.

I often think about the difficulty my biological mother faced living in a small town where everyone saw how her actions did not align with the standards by which she was raised. She was born into a Christian home and raised in church where she played the piano on Sundays. In the midst of her sinful choices, her pastor saw a child of God deserving of grace and forgiveness.

Her pastor was a close friend of my adoptive parents, who struggled to conceive with each pregnancy. He knew they desired a third child to add to their family; he also knew a young girl who wanted a Christian home where her child could be raised by two loving parents. God had taken sin and orchestrated it for good.

There have been seasons in my life when I could not see the good, but God was always there to remind me. When a family member had an unexpected pregnancy in high school, it was my adoption that gave her the courage to do the same. When another family member could not conceive, she chose to adopt her children because of the power of adoption she witnessed in our family. Because of one brave fifteen year-old girl, my family has continually witnessed the power of adoption.

I never understood the difficult choice my biological mother and family member made by choosing the life they desired for their children, over a life with themselves, until my own daughter was born. My daughter has taught me about that selfless love and I understand that selfish love is what it took for my mother to place me for adoption. I no longer doubt her love for me. Any resentment I may have harbored vanished. My mother risked her reputation, her physical beauty, typical teenage experiences, and her own comfort for me.

Life can be messy, but God makes a way. In my adoption, God made a way through the faithfulness of my biological mother and the availability of my adoptive parents, and for all of us, God makes a way by grace through Jesus Christ to give and receive forgiveness.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

For more information email thelifeinitiative@watermark.org. And if you’re pregnant and considering adoption, learn more at BraveLove.org.

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