After years of hidden sin, Luis and Kaylee finally found peace and freedom in their marriage when they surrendered it all to the Lord. As you read their story, consider where you may be holding back from the Lord and what the next step may be to move toward confession, repentance, and healing.
Luis: “While Kaylee and I took the next step to join Watermark after we got married, I didn’t give much effort to it. I was good at faking my way through everything. I wasn’t open with the biblical community around us. And then, when we decided to leave community, we picked up many more scars. We went from a little isolation to complete isolation in our marriage. I went back to my old ways while traveling for work. I was seeking attention from other women, addicted to pornography, angry, and prideful.
“When Kaylee found some inappropriate text messages on my phone, she confronted me and thought it would be good for us to go back to Watermark and start the marriage ministry, re|engage. From there, we continued through years and cycles of surrounding ourselves with biblical community and participating in church activities but not being transparent to each other or those around us. We were slowly crumbling.
“As we participated in re|engage, something started to change. The couples around us were so authentic and open about their struggles. I gained a different perspective on my relationship with the Lord and my marriage. The weight of my sin, addiction, and lies felt heavier than ever. The Lord just started moving in my heart. I was ready to share everything with Kaylee.
“I didn’t care about the consequences anymore; I knew the Lord was asking me to confess. I confessed to seeking attention from women and watching porn every time I had the chance.
“Instead of leaving me like I assumed she would, Kaylee forgave me, just as the Lord does (1 John 1:9). It was the first time I felt free.”
Kaylee: “Watching Luis walk in that freedom was inspiring to me. I started spending so much time in Scripture, more than ever before. About a week after his confession, I felt a pit in my stomach. I knew I also needed to finally confess my infidelity.
“I shared with a leader at the church and asked if she would help me confess to my husband. I remember being shaky and nauseous the entire day, fearful he would leave me and the kids for good. When Luis came up to the church to meet with us, he was so joyful and free from his own confession earlier in the week. I didn’t want to ruin his good mood.
“I was shocked by the peace in his response. The Holy Spirit was moving. If I had confessed even just a week before, it could have gone totally differently. The Lord working in Luis’s heart and in my heart was just the provision we needed to work through our marriage. God provided our leaders, community group, and friends to help us respond and move forward to forgiveness and reconciliation (Galatians 6:2).
“After confessing to God and trusted people around us, we were eager for recovery and healing. We both started re:generation, Watermark’s 12-step recovery program. It was hard. Our pride was hurt, and it wasn’t easy to admit what we’d done, even after confessing. We had to work through a lot of hard things as we went through recovery together. I felt like I was being reminded of my sin all of the time, and there was so much pain from our past, but I was also reminded of my need for a Savior (Romans 5:8).
“For so long in our marriage, I’d built walls of secrecy and protection from Luis. When the Lord made those walls crash down, it allowed us to start looking at each other rightly. I could see Luis as my husband and partner instead of someone I needed to hide from. Immediately, the ways we interacted changed, even how close we sat to each other on the couch.”
Luis: “After our confessions and a desire for growth and healing in Christ, He has given us a stronger connection to each other. We’re no longer keeping score.”
Kaylee: “I’m still growing, and it’s easy to revert to how we did marriage for all those years. It takes active intentionality and strength from God to serve my husband. My story used to make me cringe, and now I get to share it and boast about my weakness and God’s strength. I have to remember the gospel every day to remember His goodness.”
No matter where you are in your marriage, there is hope for enrichment and restoration. re|engage offers hope to marriages by helping couples move toward unity through stories of grace, teaching, and small groups.