With unexpected change comes a sense of fear and uncertainty. You are not alone. Take a deep breath. The best thing you can do in moments like this is consider your options (parenting, adoption, and abortion) and identify a few trusted family members or friends who will encourage and support you along the way.
The most common reasons given for choosing abortion are the cost of parenting, a lack of support from the child’s father, or the fear of telling parents or others. These are legitimate concerns, however, biology and the Bible agree—life begins at conception which means abortion ends the life of a human being. We understand the allure of choosing abortion because some of our leaders have found hope and healing in Jesus Christ after aborting a child. Here are some of the insights they want to share with you.
Grace changes everything. God sees you in the midst of your pain, secrecy, and unexpected circumstances. He not only sees you but loves you deeply and is working out his plan in your life in ways you rarely see in the moment. Jesus died to rescue you because you can’t rescue yourself. The Gospel truth extends to every human being – you, your child, and everyone you meet that God uniquely formed and sustains (2 Samuel 14:14; Romans 5:8).
Circumstances are real. Pregnancy and parenting are hard and costly, and if caring for a baby frightens you or is not something you think you are ready for, abortion can appear to be the best choice. Only abortion is final for you and your child, but your fear and caring for a baby are circumstances that can change with support and hope for what's ahead. Rather than being overwhelmed, divide up the most pressing issues at hand rather than letting them all bear down at once; then take them one at a time. Every new parent goes through fears of uncertainty and learning curve. You are more capable than you realize, but we all need help to care for a child. Find people who will build you up through a local church, medical professionals, and your family and friends. You will be surprised to find hope and care among people in the church who have experienced the same struggles you are facing (1 John 3:18).
God created and cares about ALL life. While your child is the most vulnerable person in this situation, start by focusing on yourself. Your life began at the point of fertilization and bears God’s image. This means God values you… he loves you! This means your value is not dependent on worldly success. You are not hopeless because of your mistakes, and your life is not defined by your present situation. God created you and this child in his image. God says his design in creating every human in his image is very good (Genesis 1:27, Genesis 1:31).
Listen and pray. If being pregnant is not something you expected, you may only tell one or two of your most trusted friends. Listen to what they have to say. Do they recognize the value of your child even if they acknowledge this wasn’t what you planned? Do they offer real support or only to support whatever you decide? Do they preach at you or ask you good questions and listen to your concerns? Amidst any advice you get, take time to quiet yourself and all the thoughts spinning in your mind and pray.
The Lord is near to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. - Psalm 145:18-19
Consider more than the circumstances. Abortion seems to address one set of problems while creating another set of problems. Many believe it’s a compromise they are willing to make even if it leaves a path of regret and pain. Don’t negotiate your life or the life of your child with your circumstances. Give your family and friends, the people who love you, the chance to care for you. If you decide to have an abortion, be clear on what risks are involved for you and your child (Psalm 139:13-16).
Be informed. Ask good questions about your pregnancy, adoption, or your abortion procedure. A pregnant woman can only choose to take the abortion pills if they are no more than 10 weeks pregnant. At 10 weeks, your child has already developed a heartbeat, fingers, toes, eyes, ears, and his or her brain is forming connections. In the state of Texas, a woman is required to receive a sonogram at least 24 hours before an abortion procedure, and she cannot abort after 22 weeks. Most women find out they’re pregnant around 6 weeks. Whether you have insurance or not, you can get prenatal care and a sonogram from a pregnancy center to find out how developed your child is usually for free. Call the Pregnancy Helpline at 888-884-8160.
Most women and men are not prepared for the physical, emotional, and spiritual impact of abortion. What initially felt like relief may be replaced by intense feelings of guilt, shame, pain, anger, or numbness. Some suffer in silence for years, or even decades, from the consequences of the decision to end their child’s life. As you consider your options, think about these insights:
|Listen and eliminate distractions.||Presume others’ reactions because you are afraid.|
|Acknowledge feelings but stand firm in truth.||Allow feelings to validate your choices.|
|Invite trusted friends to share truth and help.||Pretend no one knows what you’re going through.|
|Identify real concerns about parenting.||Let every concern overwhelm you all at once.|
|Consider adoption.||Believe co-parenting is not possible.|
|Pray continuously.||Tolerate lies you may be told to linger.|
|Be educated about pregnancy, adoption, and abortion.||Ignore information that is hard to hear.|
|Take the next step.||Get stuck without seeking help.|
God’s love, mercy, redemption, and design is bigger than any circumstance you are facing right now. The moment the egg and sperm combined, a new life with all of its unique DNA was created -- God was not caught off guard by this! Be reminded that every life is valuable and trust that God is not done with you. Pray without ceasing, be comforted with passages like Matthew 11:28-30 or Isaiah 61:1-3, and allow us to take the next step with you.