“In high school, I didn’t know who I was,” said Amber Walker. “I just wanted to fit in and gain approval from others. Along with insecurities, sexual sin started very early in my life. At a very young age I was exposed to pornography and lost my virginity. Physical intimacy really affected how I viewed relationships and dating.
“In my junior year, I met a guy named Marvin Dennis Walker. He was a freshman, and I was a junior, but he looked older or so that was my excuse. We ended up dating on and off in high school. Still, I just wanted to fit in. I was going to parties and drinking, and some drugs came into my life as well.
“I graduated and started to attend college at University of Texas El Paso with a full-ride softball scholarship. I thought it was great. I didn’t have to work; I could just play sports, go to school, and party. And that’s exactly what I did. I struggled with the same sins from high school, but they were intensified in college because I had even more independence.
“Marvin and I rekindled our relationship in college, and we were still dating when I graduated. Although I was in a relationship, I was always seeking someone else. God places a hole in our heart that only He can fill, but I was trying to fill the gap with the approval of men. If it wasn’t Marvin, there was always someone else I could date.
“I broke up with Marvin because I wanted to move forward with my life and career. I started dating a guy who played in the NFL and found myself in a completely new lifestyle with this relationship. Everything you could think of, I thought I was getting – money, cars, clothes. I thought that was all life was about. It was a very worldly, materialistic lifestyle.
“One day out of the blue, Marvin called me on the phone. I hadn’t talked to him for about a year and half, but he asked if I would forgive him for what he did in the past. It was the weirdest conversation. I’ve known Marvin since he was fourteen, and he did not sound like the same person. I was so intrigued by this change.
“From then, he was persistent to text me different verses from the Bible and invite me to church, but I wasn’t ready to end my relationship or change my lifestyle of partying.
“When I finally agreed to go to church, I told Marvin I would not sit with him. As I sat by myself in an Easter service, it felt so personal. I tried to process what I experienced but quickly shook it off and went right back to my sin habits. The next few weeks would follow the same pattern: church on Sundays and then I’d jump into a lifestyle of sexual sin, drugs, and alcohol.
“I was communicating with Marvin occasionally, but mostly about the dog we shared from when we previously dated. Our dog became sick, and we ended up at the vet together, having to put it down. Marvin drove me home afterward, and before I got out of the car, he asked me if I wanted to pray with him. I asked if we could pray about my current relationship. Through what I’d been learning at church and about God’s heart, I had started to feel uneasy about the relationship I was in – stomach-turning uneasiness.
“A week or two later, the guy I had been dating called and we ended things. I remember getting off the phone in awe of God. That was the first time I genuinely prayed about my life, and God did something. God ended that relationship because He knew I didn’t have the strength to do it on my own (Proverbs 3:5-6).
“I called Marvin immediately and said, ‘I get it. Jesus is real. I want to give my life to Him. I saw Him just move in my life.’ Usually, I would’ve been so upset and sad about a relationship ending but, this time, I was excited. The next day, I went to church and publicly gave my life to Christ.
“For the next ten months, Marvin and I would get together to learn the Bible. When we would sit and read, Jesus was my focus, and I was falling in love with Him. That season was so good and refining in my life. It was refreshing to build a solid relationship with the Lord without a dating relationship as a distraction. I asked myself, ‘Amber, is Jesus enough for you or are you still going to seek out another relationship? Are you trying to see if someone else can offer you what only Jesus can?’ Any time the church doors were open, I was there learning, worshiping, and serving.
“Jesus took me from always looking for the next relationship to finding everlasting joy and full satisfaction in a relationship with Christ. Now, years later, I feel a constant peace and freedom knowing that God is in control of my life, my marriage, and my children. I still struggle, but I am reminded that I am a daughter of the King! I am free now because of grace. Jesus gave His life so that I could be free from every kind of sin!”
Read more stories of God’s grace in the lives of Watermark Members, including Amber’s husband, Marvin.