Shiloh

Shiloh is our ministry to women and couples who are experiencing infertility, and/or the loss of a baby. Join our study starting Tuesday, September 16, 7-9 pm, at 7301 Debshire Circle, 75231. In the context of a small group, we provide an opportunity to connect with others with similar experiences as we encourage one another through the Scriptures. Whether you are a mature believer or someone who has questions, whether you are desiring your first child or adding to your family, we welcome you to join us. Topics like prayer, emotions, dealing with others, and God's purposes will be discussed. For more info, or to sign-up please contact Debbie Ahmed or at 469.223.5634.

What is Shiloh: A Place of Rest?
We are an outreach to women and couples who, like Hannah, desire a child. Some participants in this ministry may desire to have their first child, while others may be trying to add to their existing family. Some may be seeking medical treatment while some are in the process of adopting. Some may be trying on their own to start or expand a family, while others know that they will not be able to have a biological child. Resources and ideas are available for friends and family members also.

Where did you get the name "Shiloh"?
Hannah, according to 1 Samuel 1, desperately desired a son. Often, she would escape to Shiloh, the name of which means "a place of rest in the presence of God." She was faithful to go there and make her requests known to God. It was in Shiloh that her heart changed and she began to surrender to God's will, rather than her own. That is what this ministry is all about.

Shiloh's Vision and Format
Our deepest desire is that all of us will enter into the rest of God's presence and seek, and accept, His desire for our lives. Sometimes that's easier said than done. Shiloh wants to come alongside and help participants seek, accept, and run after God's will for today and every day, through encouraging friendships, personal and group study of Scripture, prayer partners, and authentic leadership and support.

Our support happens on three levels. Some participants may be involved at all levels, while others may select one or two, depending on their personal needs, time schedules, and preferences.

1) One-on-One Mentoring<
We provide individual support through regular contact with one of the ministry leaders and or mentors. Leaders and mentors have either experienced infertility and/or miscarriage in the past or are currently in the midst of it.

2) Small Group Bible study
Women meet in small groups to go through an interactive eight-week Bible study addressing related issues and questions such as:

• What do I do with my anger?
• Why am I going through this?
• Should I bother to pray if God is going to do what He wants anyway?
• How can I keep the love and romance in my marriage strong during this time?
• How do I deal with friends?

3) Couples Get-Togethers
Couples get together once every 8-12 weeks for a time of fun, fellowship, and encouragement. For example, participants may gather for a potluck dinner and then hear a speaker and have a time of Q&A, or meet for dessert and play a version of "The Newlywed Game". The goal of this time is to have fun, celebrate marriage and to further communicate the fact that you are not alone.

Testimonies
If you are a woman who is dealing with infertility or miscarriage, you are not alone. We hope that the following testimonies will encourage you and will lead you toward the One who is able to give you true rest.   Review the testimonies in the Shiloh Testimonies Document (PDF format)

How do I get involved?
If you would like to participate in or help with this ministry, please contact Julie Fowler for more information.

Questions About Adoption?
If you have questions relating to adoption, please check out Tapestry, Watermark's adoption ministry. In addition, if you would like to get more information about Shiloh and Tapestry in order to better understand which ministry may be right for you at this time, please contact Kathryn Jackson at kwayjackson@sbcglobal.net or 214.750.8150.

Things you can do to minister to someone going through infertility or the loss of a baby.

It can be hard to know what to say when trying to be a friend to someone going through infertility or loss of a baby. Here are some things to consider when talking to your friend, family member, or co-worker. Please know that the Shiloh ministry would love to come alongside you and/or the person going through this and offer additional support and encouragement. We would love to meet or talk with you or your friend and are available to assist with meals and/or emotional and spiritual encouragement (contact us).

"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Proverbs 25:11

"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:5, 6

• Contact the Shiloh Ministry if you would like help providing meals or if you would like someone from the Shiloh Ministry who has had similar experiences to contact your friend. (Responding as quickly as possible is best as times of grief and struggle vary in length--from just days to even years. The window to minister may not last long. And what would mean a lot right away, may not mean as much 2 weeks later.)
  
  
• Listen, listen, and listen again. Sometimes it is better to not say anything at all than to say something hurtful.
  
  
• Tell the person that you are sorry that they are going through such a difficult time.
  
  
• Using words like "This must be so painful for you" is a good way to validate someone's feelings.
  
  
• Pray before you visit with the person that is suffering that God will give you the words to use in that particular situation. It is important that we don't just put it on our list of "things to do today" and forget to stop and pray for God's leading.
  
  
• Send cards to remind the person that you are remembering them and praying for them. Even just a postcard that says "Praying for you today" can mean a lot when it is heartfelt and sincere.
  
  
• Ask them if they would like to be connected with someone else who has walked a similar road. The Shiloh ministry has a bible study that meets for 9 weeks in someone's home at different times of the year and also has a group of volunteers who meet one-on-one. These volunteers have experienced similar trials and have a special heart for ministering to others going through this. If you would like to find out more about this study, please contact us.
  
  
• Give your friend a chance to tell you what helps and what is hard. Ask her/him what things are hard. Ask what ministers the most to them (i.e. talking about their situation or not talking about it…). Ask if she would like to go to your child's birthday or not. Ask if she would like to go to your baby shower or if that would be too hard. Be aware that situations change, and what someone can or can't handle at one point may be different later, so keep communication lines open.
  
  
• In a situation of loss or treatment, provide a meal or meals. Gather others in your community to help with this. Also contact the Shiloh ministry if you would like us to help.
  
  
• After the loss of a baby, try to remember the due date and be sensitive around that time and around various holidays (Mother's and Father's Day, Christmas, etc.). Send them a note or give them a call to let them know you are thinking of them and praying for them during those times.
  
  
• If the baby who was lost was named, use the name in your note or conversations. The person may also appreciate a keepsake with the baby's name on it--a hand painted cross, an engraved bracelet charm, a monogrammed pillow, ornament or blanket. A tree or flowering bush, or donation to a special charity may also be sweet gifts at a time of loss or on the anniversaries of the loss. Contact the Shiloh Ministry for recommendations on related charities.
  
  
• Try to eliminate the words "but at least" from your vocabulary. Any time you use these words you are minimizing someone else's pain. For example: "But at least you miscarried early in your pregnancy."
  
  
• Remember that you cannot compare pain. Make sure that you don't try to compare the pain that you or someone you know has experienced with another person's pain. For example: "Don't worry, you've only been trying to get pregnant for two years and I know another lady who tried for six before she got pregnant."
  
  
• Try not to talk about your own children around those that are suffering from infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, or the loss of a child.
  
  
• Don't come up with solutions for the person that is suffering. For example: "You can always adopt." Or "Maybe you should try another doctor."
  
  
• Don't try to make the situation better by saying things like "You're only 28, you still have plenty of time." Or "At least you already have a child."
  
  
• Don't act like you know exactly how the person suffering feels. Just because you experienced a similar situation doesn't mean that you will have the same feelings/emotions as someone else.
  
  
• Make sure not to ask personal questions like "When is your next fertility treatment starting?" or "Are you going to try again?"
  
  
• Don't take the things we know to be true and turn them into hurtful words. For example: "God's timing is perfect." "It must be God's will." Or "You need to just turn it over to the Lord." Although these are true, they are not comforting to someone who is struggling.
  
  
• Pray with the person for the peace and comfort that only God can give.