It didn’t take long for Greg and Emily to realize they were not good at the whole marriage thing. Self-righteousness, control, and anger caused them to become critical and argumentative. Re|engage helped them learn how to communicate, resolve conflict, and show grace to each other.
Doug and Dyann Kierstead |
Ben and LK Ortiz |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Monte and Marsha Dunn |
Julie and Mark Nicholson |
Jerry and Lori |
Steve and Amie Bradley |
Marcus and Carol Brown |
Nancy and Mark Rovenstine |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
David and Cait |
Mandy and Leonard Bagdanov |
Michelle and Nate Ball |
Nate and Megan Mickish |
Wes and Angie Talley |
Jen and Alex Lesko |
Alissa and Shane Mauldin |
Daniel and Cynthia Costa |
Sheri and Brett Johnston |
Robert and Linda Green |
John and Jeanie Cox |
Wade and Betsy Nowlin |
David and Tara Jensen |
Jim and Judy Wimberley |
Jimmy and Michelle Comeaux |
Kevin and Kelli Mainz |
David and Manuela Acosta |
Rob and Haley Thomas |
Robbie and Teri Vedrenne |
Rick and Michelle Howard |
Matt and Jenn Farlow |
David and Lauren Kinney |
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
Neil and Jody Curran |
Scot and Michelle Buchanan |
David and Cait |
Wes and Angie Talley |
Tobin and Christina Miller |
Michael and Melinda Parisi |
David and Denise Renken |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
John and Debbie Wingfield |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine |
Todd and Julie Anders |
LaDale and Cynthia Buggs |
Chris and Katie Sherrod |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
Simon and Katrina Saugier |
Willie and Gigi Hornberger |
Mark and Julie Nicholson |
Nate and Michelle Ball |
Robbie and Teri Vedrenne |
Paul and Kelly Rutherford |
David and Tara Jensen |
John and Jeanie Cox |
Steve and Amie Bradley |
Chris and Michelle Dishman |
Kevin and Kelly Mainz |
Jim and Judy Wimberley |
Dean and Tawney Macfarlan |
Rob and Haley Thomas |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
David and Lauren Kinney |
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
Ryan and Callie Nixon |
Alex and Jen Lesko |
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Selena and Michael Thompson |
Russ and Karen Fleig |
Phil and Beth Brinkmeyer |
Leonard and Mandy Bagdanov |
Glenn and Desiree Newblom |
Michael and Melinda Parisi |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Brett and Jan Bruster |
Wes and Angie Talley |
Mac and Sophie Macfarlan |
John and Debbie Wingfield |
Brett and Chrisey Billman |
Nate and Michelle Ball |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine |
Divorce Panel |
Trey and Shera O'Neal |
LaDale and Cynthia Buggs |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
David and Tara Jensen |
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Jim and Judy Wimberley |
Steve and Amie Bradley |
Griffin and Kami Stroope |
David and Lauren Kinney |
Rick and Michelle Howard |
Glenn and Desiree Newblom |
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
David and Tara Jensen |
Brett and Jan Bruster |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Ryan and Callie Nixon |
Steve and Amie Bradley |
Testimony- Brian and Morgan Buchek |
Testimony - David & Tara Jensen |
Blended Family Panel |
Testimony - Greg & Jennifer Sutherland |
Testimony - Jacob & April Neely |
Troy and Julia Bussmeir |
Nick and Rachel Klein |
Mike and Shelly Ahlemeier |
Matt and Andrea Walker |
Luis and Kaylee Caceres |
Graham and Stacey Robbins |
Andy and Jenny Marsh |
Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Griffin and Kami Stroope Testimony |
Testimony |
Divorce Panel |
Testimony |
Testimony |
Testimony- Glenn and Desiree Newblom |
Michael and Selena Thompson |
Testimony- Greg and Emily Goodin |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Brandon and Brittani Travelstead |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Re|Engage Large Group Testimony |
Martin and Lenore Gao |
Testimony - Shera and Trey O’Neal |
John and Debbie Wingfield |
Alex and Jen Lesko |
Tim and Kalyn Gereg |
Jimmy and Michelle Comeaux |
Jason and Mandy Castro |
David and Robin Howard |
Robert and Linda Green |
LaDale and Cynthia Buggs |
Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
Brett and Jan Bruster |
Greg and Emily Goodin |
Charles and Karen Bundren |
Testimony |
Testimony - Jared and Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Testimony - LaDale and Cynthia Buggs |
Re|Engage Spanish Night Testimony - Manuel & Elvia Lemus |
Testimony - Alex and Jen Lesko |
Simon and Katrina Saugier |
David and Denise Renken |
Testimony - Robert & Linda Green |
Testimony - Martin and Lenore Gao |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
Testimony - Markus and Mary Kay Jabek |
Testimony - Charles and Karen Bundren |
Testimony - Bobby & Shari Johns |
Testimony - Ivan & Martha |
Testimony - Tim & Kalyn Gereg |
Greg & Tonya Gilmer |
Testimony - Ryan & Callie Nixon |
Paul and Kelly Rutherford |
Nate and Michelle Ball |
Kevin and Kelli Mainz |
Testimony - Greg and Emily Goodin |
Testimony - John and Debbie Wingfield |
Testimony - Shane & Alissa Mauldin |
Brett and Chrisey Billman |
Todd and Alex Wagner |
Teaching - Community |
Teaching- Completion |
Testimony - Markus & Mary Kay Jabek |
Testimony - Dave & Denise Renken |
Robert and Liz White |
Testimony- John and Pam McGee |
Testimony- Charles and Karen Bundren |
Testimony - John & Debbie Wingfield |
Testimony - Greg & Tonya Gilmer |
Testimony - Ryan & Callie Nixon |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
Testimony - Jared & Leigh Anne Sullivan |
Testimony - Bobby & Shari Johns |
John Paul and Rena |
Testimony - Paul & Kelly Rutherford |
Trey and Shera O'Neal |
Testimony - Kevin & Kelli Mainz |
Erick and Gina Frank |
Martin & Lenore Gao Testimony |
Tyler and Jenny O'Neal |
Mark and Kathy Thomas |
Peter and Eleanor |
Testimony - Shane & Alissa Mauldin |
Eric and Catherine Couch |
Bill and Ann Daly |
Testimony - LaDale & Cynthia Buggs |
Testimony - Nate & Michelle Ball |
Michael and Stefanie Santiago |
Steve and Natalie Hamm |
Testimony - Brett & Chrisey Billman |
Chris and Charece Robbins |
Testimony - Charles & Karen Bundren |
Klein and Holly Swannie |
Dean and Tawney Macfarlan |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine |
Testimony - Kevin and Kelli Mainz |
Testimony - Robert & Liz White |
Testimony - John & Debbie Wingfield |
Testimony - Mark & Kathy Thomas |
Testimony - Bobby and Shari Johns |
Testimony - Simon & Katrina Saugier |
Testimony - Shane & Alissa Mauldin |
Teaching - The Importance of Fun in Marriage |
Testimony |
Teaching - Sexual Intimacy |
Rick and Michele Howard |
Scott and Laura DeBow |
Zech and Kim Lumpkin |
Tyler and Jenny O'Neal Testimony |
Scott and Kristen Kedersha |
Bill and Ann Daly |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Newly and Karen Spikes |
Jon and Kathy Flaming |
Brett and Jan Bruster |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
Chris and Charece Robbins |
Brett and Chrisey Billman |
Dee and Roddy Elliott |
Derek and Stacy Braziel |
Greg and Tonya Gilmer |
Adam and Brooke Fish |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
Everett and Emily Alexander |
Mark and Kathy Thomas |
Divorce Panel |
Matt and Amy Levy |
Robert and Liz White |
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson |
Greg and Tonya Gilmer |
Chris and Charece Robbins |
Dru and Amanda Guillot |
Dee and Roddy Elliott |
Warren and Angie Wright |
Derek and Stacy Braziel |
Chris and Dana Adamson |
Jeremy and Mindi Patty |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Jim and Judy Wimberley |
Kevin and Kelli Mainz |
Brett and Chrisey Billman |
Jason and Mandy Castro |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson |
Greg and Tonya Gilmer |
Dee and Roddy Elliott |
John and Meredith Hall |
Ryan and Callie Nixon |
Adam and Brooke Fish |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Bobby and Shari Johns |
Greg and Tonya Gilmer |
Robert and Liz White |
A.C. and Debi Ndindjock |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine |
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson |
Bill and Kathryn Buntyn |
Nate and Teresa Graybill |
Robert and Lou Ann McMillen |
Dee and Roddy Elliott |
Kirk and Cathy McJunkin |
Adam and Jackie Tarnow - Re|Engage Testimony |
Kyle and Lucina Thompson - Re|Engage Testimony |
Joey and Christian Rider - re|engage Testimony |
Jason and Mandy Castro - re|engage Testimony |
Jeff and Martha Sharrock - re|engage Testimony |
Scott and Kristen Kedersha - re|engage Testimony |
Zech and Kim Lumpkin - re|engage Testimony |
Chris and Charece Robbins - re|engage Testimony |
Robert and Linda Green |
Everett and Emily Alexander - re|engage Testimony |
Bobby and Shari Johns - re|engage Testimony |
Neal and Ann Holford - re|engage Testimony |
Les and Desi Brown - re|engage Testimony |
Simon and Katrina Saugier - re|engage Testimony |
Mark and Nancy Rovenstine - re|engage Testimony |
Chris and Dana Adamson - re|engage Testimony |
Rick and Michele Howard - re|engage Testimony |
Divorce Panel - re|engage Testimony |
Bryce and Elizabeth Erickson - re|engage Testimony |
Dee and Roddy Elliott - re|engage Testimony |
Mike and Laura Labunski |
Robert and Liz White - Re|Engage Testimony |
Eddy and Rachel Badrina - Re|Engage Testimony |
Shane and Alissa Mauldin - Re|Engage Testimony |
David and Denise Renken - Re|Engage Testimony |
A.C. and Debi Ndindjock - Re|Engage Testimony |
Joey and Christian Rider - Re|Engage Testimony |
Scott and Kristen Kedersha |
Jeff and Martha Sharrock |
Neal and Ann Holford - Re|Engage Testimony |
Wes and Brandy Butler - Re|Engage Testimony |
Andy and Jennifer Bailey - Re|Engage Testimony |
Lance and Mandy Sisco - Re|Engage Testimony |
Leonard and Mandy Bagdanov - Re|Engage Testimony |
Blake and Rebecca Holmes - Re|Engage Testimony |
Chris and Dana - Re|Engage Testimony |
Catherine and Tom - Re|Engage Testimony |
Angie and Warren Wright - Re|Engage Testimony |
Teri and Robbie Vedrenne - Re|Engage Testimony |
Tawney and Dean Macfarlan - Re|Engage Testimony |
Brooke and Adam Fish - Re|Engage Testimony |
Judy and Jim Wimberly - Re|Engage Testiomony |
Kim and Zech Lumpkin - Re|Engage Testimony |
Mary and Ted Randall - Re|Engage Testimony |
Katie and Brandon Lokey - Re|Engage Testimony |
Mindi and Jeremy - Re|Engage Testimony |
Lisbeth and Hil Bowman - Re|Engage Testimony |
Meredith and John Hall - Re|Engage Testimony |
Tanna and Rick - Re|Engage Testimony |
Cathy and Kirk McJunkin - Re|Engage Testimony |
Crystal and Anthony Obey - Re|Engage Testimony |
Rachel and Eddy |
Lucina and Kyle Thompson - Re|Engage Testimony |
Adam and Aleks Stewart - Re|Engage Testimony |
Linda and John Berry - Re|Engage Testimony |
Lora and Jeff Strese - Re|Engage Testimony |
Julie and Todd Anders - Re|Engage Testimony |
Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs - Re|Engage Testimony |
Jackie and Adam Tarnow - Re|Engage Testimony |
Ann and Matt Piper - Re|Engage Testimony |
Cindy and Mike Homsher - Re|Engage Testimony |
Julie and Scott Sedberry - Re|Engage Testimony |
Rebecca and Chip Dickens - Re|Engage Testimony |
Missy and David Leventhal - Re|Engage Testimony |
Carrie and Troy Patterson - Re|Engage Testimony |
Sheri and Brett Johnston - Re|Engage Testimony |
Tanna and Rick Wisner - Re|Engage Testimony |
Anna and Kavon Moradi - Re|Engage Testimony |
Greg My name is Greg Goodin and this is my sweet bride Emily. We have been married for 10 years and have one 6-year-old son named Graham {I think we have some pictures}. My story begins in Amarillo TX where I grew up in a typical household with a hard-working father, a nurturing stay-at-home mother, and an older brother. We attended church regularly but lived our day to day lives void of the gospel. While I knew of God, I lacked the life-informing relationship with God that would unfortunately play itself out in destructive ways well into my early 20’s. Specifically, my greatest rebellious behavior came in the form of both physical and verbal conflict, and what I would later come to understand to be just as damaging, the lack of conflict resolution.
This inability to resolve conflict through communications at home, created division within my parents' relationship to the point of divorce, distance between my brother and I, and lead me into years of unhealthy relationships with other friends and family.
Emily I was born in Richardson and I have a sister who is 13 months older than me. My parents divorced when I was 5 and my mom remarried shorty after that. My sense of refuge and stability at home was shaken so early in my childhood with the divorce, a quick re-marriage, and blending of families, it created a sense of anxiety and desire to try to manage towards some consistency in life.
The gospel of being saved by faith in Jesus Christ was presented to me at summer camp in about the 5th grade and I accepted Christ as my savior. However, we never went to church as a family or talked about our faith so I was mainly focused on what the world had to offer. I desperately wanted to fit in, so managing people's perception of me became my main goal.
Greg The simple truth is the sum of so many years walking apart from God navigating through academics, athletics, professions and relationships alone, allowed me to experience the gambit of all this world has to offer. Those years of satisfying my self-centeredness, and relying on my own abilities and understandings naturally began shaping my heart. I formed my own inaccurate beliefs about God and people, defined what the purpose of love and life were about, shaped perspectives about relationships and how each one would serve me, and even expectations for what my life was going to be about with no regard for others or the possible consequences of my confrontational actions. I decided who I would spend my time with, when and how I would spend it, and simply fed my flesh. When relationships or situations before marriage would become tough, I would simply move on.
Without remorse and zero resolution, this created a pattern that blossomed into a critical spirit and allowed me to devalue communication within conflict for years to come. Somehow not having to talk about it meant you could just escape it. I continued to develop a distorted identity one broken experience after another, a perverted understanding of what leadership and love are in relationships where I remained at the center of them all, and many unhealthy expectations and focuses on others that prevented me from addressing my own sin.
Emily After high school I went through a series of bad relationship choices including allowing a boyfriend to cheat on me for many years and then later having an inappropriate relationship with a married man. I thought I was so good at managing my life by this point and so good at controlling everything around me, that this felt like a complete shock. I knew I was not seeking God’s will for my life and I cared far more about what people thought of me than how I was using my life to honor God.
In early 2005 I started coming to Watermark and very quickly realized this place was filled with people who wanted to be known. Later that fall, my whole life changed when my relationship with the married guy came to the light and I decided to go all in with following the Lord. I learned that the more I shared my struggles and sins with other women, the more I felt truly loved and understood. The enemy wants us to believe that we need to hide our weaknesses, but Christ proclaims the opposite. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us that His power is made perfect in weakness.
Greg While the Lord allowed me to get to this place, He did not abandon me nor forsake me. He was merely waiting for me to turn to Him and flee the “Greg as King” lifestyle. Through His sovereignty, He brought men into my life that surrounded me while I was still single and lost in my selfish ways and loved me regardless. For the first time in my life I was being discipled, and found true purpose. During this time, I was constantly being pointed back to Christ with truths from God’s word. My ways did not line up with His ways and it was the beginning of a refining process that continues to this day. It was clear how I deviated, and the Lord began to remove my self-made definitions, and reshaped my beliefs, and how those beliefs informed my behavior. I was a sinner in need of a Savior. Not once and done years ago, but daily devoting and depending on Him forevermore.
Years later Emily and I met at Watermark, dated for 2.5 years, and married, beginning an eye-opening adventure. Once married, it didn’t take long to establish bad habits and realize I was terrible at being married. My selfishness and justifications would dominate my decisions and contribute to much divisiveness. I was only hearing Emily as someone who wanted to change me to make her life easier so any point made was dismissed (my pride). I was viewing her as one who found great value and self-righteousness through knowing God’s word but did not live it out (critical spirit/judgmental).
When conflict would arise, my poor communication tactics filled with self-righteousness and defense mechanisms would consume any chances of resolve. Rather than seeking to understand her, the pride-based “you’re the problem not me”, kept me in my blinded state and unable to see what the Lord was revealing to me. I was angry all the time and felt accused and attacked at the drop of the hat. I was the fool in Proverbs 29:11 giving full vent to his anger. Verbally there were no limits to the hurtful things I would say, no escalation too high, or volume too loud to get my point across or win the argument. I was harshly direct, inconsiderately rude, and our unhealthy communication style turned into much unresolved conflict.
It drove a wedge between us, and our relationship began to grow shallow and fragile. Our disagreements and quarrels were seeds of bitterness that lead to hard hearted opinions like “Emily was my enemy”. While Emily and I are quite different from each other, we remained opposed more than we were in agreement. We struggled to get on the same page about anything because we couldn’t keep a conversation going long enough to understand where the other person was coming from without it turning into a fight. Another verse I failed to apply was 1 Peter 3:7 that clearly encourages us with, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
We were becoming roommates only because we both vowed to never divorce. Neither of us wanted to admit it nor did I really know why I was so confrontational, but we were acutely aware simply through the way we communicated that we were suffering. Our oneness was nonexistent. We simply could not communicate without being rude or impulsive. Everything seemed disrespectful due to my negatively interpreting much of what Emily said. My triggers were tripped and off I went on a verbal rampage.
Emily I thought that since Greg and I had gone through pre-marital counseling at Watermark, joined a foundation group, been involved in the church, etc. things would be just perfect. Well, they weren’t. Shortly after we got married, out of my own fear of fully trusting and struggle with control, I started to question everything about Greg. It was so slow and subtle that I didn’t even fully recognize my own perceptions and actions and how damaging they were. Instead of trusting him and believing that he was a great partner for me, I became very skeptical and began to doubt his competence in many areas. Part of my struggle is that when I see one little area that is not how I think it should be, my mind races to figure out how to control the situation to prevent the worst possible outcome. This lead me to try to control Greg - everything from purchases, to people’s perception of me and our marriage, to even what Greg did on a daily basis. I probably don’t have to tell you that that is an exhausting and fruitless way to live. Not to mention, I don’t think Greg liked it very much.
My attempts at control lead to so many conflicts, it’s hard to even pinpoint some of the worst. I can tell you that conflicts at our house used to be filled with a lot of yelling, cussing, harsh words, controlling tones, and many days without speaking. Somewhere among all the crazy poor communication and conflict, we decided to have a baby. We welcomed our son Graham in February of 2013. Graham has been a huge blessing for us and parenting him has been a tangible expression of how much the Lord loves us. However, Greg and I fully recognized that in order to be the best parents and all that God intended, we need to first focus on our own relationships with Christ and a strong, healthy marriage.
Greg After five years of marriage and years in community, we agreed to give re|engage a try. First, the heart churning curriculum revealed much about who I was as a husband. It was the only safe place I could be honest about how I was feeling, and acknowledge the lies I had bought into that were directly affecting our oneness. Embarrassingly enough, we were finally able to hear what the other was sharing, and that brought about incredible opportunity for restored oneness. We would leave united and filled with hope due to the clarity and humility we experienced, and could then continue a conversation with a different outcome elsewhere as a result. We were beginning a much-needed reconciliation path towards one another all because we could gently communicate. The idea “it’s not what I said, but what you heard” still rings true for us. Each chapter challenged us to re-evaluate how we are to treat one another and collectively reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13 and what the true definition of love is. We realized our poor communication methods were preventing us from extending grace, forgiveness in action, intimacy, and more.
Emily God used our time in reengage to radically change our marriage. The biggest ah ha for me as we went through the curriculum was the lesson on Grace. Specifically, the question that asks us to “tell about a time when your spouse has shown you grace.” Greg’s page was blank. BLANK. He could not think of one single answer to that question. That was a low. I had not shown him even a glimpse of the overwhelming grace I myself have been shown by the Lord and so many others? That was the beginning me drawing the circle around myself and working on changing everything in it. God showed me that I was more concerned about being right and having things my way than loving and serving Greg. More concerned about protecting my (our) reputation than really seeking what God has for us.
I wanted to quit every week in re|engage because I thought nothing was happening. It wasn’t until almost the very end that I realized a big truth. I was always looking for one big event to point to that could explain why our marriage was so bad. But God revealed me that it wasn’t one event or one thing. It was a series of small choices I had made over time to move away from what God intended in marriage. And the way to move towards a marriage that God intended is by making small choices over time to love and trust God and Greg. We had to start with changing the way we communicate and changing the way we resolve conflict. Some of the steps in the re|engage book on these topics felt very forced at first, but the more we practiced them, the more the Lord showed us how to really love each other and resolve conflict in a healthy way.
Greg We had a choice to make after learning so much about how to have a God-honoring marriage and no longer willing to live in denial about any part of it. It was time to walk in His ways, to taste and see that the Lord is good. To lean on the Lord for guidance and strength, and believe that He is capable of handling our problems. Finally, this freed me from trying to fix Emily and focus on Christ. I could practice patience with Emily and trust the Lord that He is still at work and His timing is perfect. I only need to yield to the Spirit and let the Love I’ve come to know, be extended to my bride as Christ calls me to. I can admit my faults and failures and I’m not met with condemnation or conflict. We are learning to embrace each other as Christ himself would regardless of our imperfections.
Emily We have recently been through a couple of trials, and it has been fun to celebrate just how much our communication and conflict resolution has changed in the last few years. I feel closer to Greg than I ever have and I’m learning to trust him more and more each day. Praise the Lord that the way things have always been don’t have to be the way they are going forward.
Greg We stand here today grateful for the Lord’s love and kindness that lead us both to repentance. Humbled by the hands of our Mighty Healer who to this day is still redeeming His children and taking ground in the hearts of those who believe in Him.
Emily My encouragement to you who are here working on your marriage is to just take the next small step in moving towards your spouse. Don’t underestimate the day to day interactions that build trust and build a great marriage. Don’t underestimate what the Lord can do with 2 willing hearts who love him.
Greg Thank you for letting us share!
This series contains teachings and testimonies of God's transforming power in marriages at re|engage. re|engage is designed specifically to address needs in marriage by helping couples move towards oneness in their marriage through stories of grace, teaching and small groups. Whether your marriage needs to be reignited, or is in need of a complete resurrection, re|engage is a safe place for couples to reconnect. It is a 16-week experience which includes a time of praise and worship, a teaching or a testimony by a couple who has experienced victory in the midst of hard times, and small group time which follows a specified curriculum. We meet every Wednesday night, 6:30-8:15 p.m. in The Loft (7540 LBJ Freeway @ Park Central, Dallas). Kids Ministry is available with advance registration.
Re|engage is a weekly ministry for married couples to find help, learn, and grow in their marriage through a small-group setting.