How to Navigate a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

How to Navigate a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage


Back in 2005, Judy Wimberley shared how to navigate a spiritually mismatched marriage through a document she created called “The Four Aces." (Before blogs, we created PDFs and just passed them around via email. Can you imagine that?!) Anyways, this document is full of timeless Truths that we just had to resurrect and apply to all circumstances in our life.

First, envision an entire deck of cards spread out over your counter. All the cards represent individual memories, circumstances, emotions, hopes, and desires of your life with your husband. Now pull out the four aces and hold them in your hands. In most card games these four aces will trump everything else in the deck. Let’s look at the four aces you have in your hand and assign 4 key biblical perspectives for your marriage that lead to hope, patience and peace allowing them to trump all circumstances that you mind find yourself in.

Ace of Spades: Prayer

No one can pray for your husband like you can because no one knows him better than you; not his mother, his sister, his co-workers, his friends. Use your knowledge of him to pray on his behalf, for the Spirit to woo him, towards being a man after God’s own heart. Don’t know where to begin? Set aside time weekly, to pray over him the qualities listed in Titus 1:6-9, "An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it."

Ace of Hearts: Trust in God who is Sovereign

This ace reminds us that we should filter all the other “cards” in life through the truth that God is Sovereign. God is in charge, not us. His plans are often different than our own, but we can trust that His plan is good and will not be thwarted. Job 42:2 “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted."

Ace of Diamonds: Wisdom

Regardless of your husband’s spiritual walk, you can be a woman of wisdom. Wisdom doesn’t enable you to see the solution and the outcome, but it allows you to see the next best step. Wisdom helps us respond not react. To gain wisdom, you must consume timeless wisdom by studying God’s Word. Psalm 111:10, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding. To Him belongs eternal praise.”

Ace of Clubs: Character

God is using your current circumstances to form your character to be more like Him. No suffering is ever wasted when we ask God to let it benefit us, mold us, change us to be more like Him. Romans 5:4-5, "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Click here to read in entirety: “The Four Aces”

To listen to a timeless message from Judy and Jim Wimberley on a different topic, check out, “Abiding in Christ in the Highs, Lows and In-Betweens of Parenting”


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